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Valuable Information:

The Damage to
Girls from Pre-Marital Sex

Article by Pastor Mark
Gungor

The Damage to Girls from
Pre-Marital Sex

by Mark
Gungor
(...read full article)

In my last e-newsletter, I wrote of how
men "imprint" off of their early sexual
experiences and when those experiences are outside
of marriage the result is a sexually diminished
man at best and a sexually damaged man at
worst.  I have never received so many
responses to a subject!

I
would like to answer some of the questions that
came in as a result of what I wrote.  I had
stated that I believe men become "damaged goods"
as a result of sexual promiscuity, but many have
asked, "What about the women?"

The
answer, of course, is that a woman, too, receives
a great deal of damage from being sexually
promiscuous, and her damage is both psychological
and physical.  Keep in mind I am describing
all sexually promiscuous women with a very broad
brush - the actual degree of damage varies from
individual to individual.

First the psychological
damage:

When a woman
experiences sex without commitment, she soon
learns (falsely) that sex means little to
nothing.  That is why so many married woman
view sex as an unimportant side issue in marriage
when it is, in fact, a key and central issue to a
successful marriage.  She has inaccurately
learned from other men that sex and commitment are
two completely separate issues, which they are
not. God's original plan was to use sex as the
path to commitment. But because of promiscuity,
she no longer views sex as a path to her husband's
commitment. On the contrary, she begins to demand
that commitment BEFORE sex is granted, something
he is not wired to do. The result is a
relationship that cannot
thrive.

The physical
damage:

As for the physical damage, science shows us
that when a woman has sex with a man, a chemical
called oxytocin is released into her system.
Oxytocin is a neuro-peptide most commonly
associated with pregnancy and breast-feeding. It
seems to act as a human superglue and helps a
woman bond with her infant. This chemical also
helps a woman bond with her lover during sex. New
scientific studies, however, suggest that if a
woman has multiple sexual partners, this will
lower her levels of oxytocin which in turn will
damage her ability to bond. According to an
article by Drs. John Diggs and Eric Keroack,
"People who have misused their sexual faculty and
become bonded to multiple persons will diminish
the power of oxytocin to maintain a permanent bond
with an individual."  [You can read the
entire article at  http://www.abstinence.net
]

It is like taking a piece of strong
packing tape and applying it to a box. Leave it
alone, and it will hold that box together for
decades and decades. Take it off and re-apply it
and, well... it just doesn't hold as well anymore.
Keep applying it and taking it off and applying it
a taking it off and... I think you get the idea.
This is what can happen to a woman who has
multiple sex partners.

If this is
true, then why do I believe men are the most
damaged?  Because a sexually promiscuous
woman, despite lowered levels of oxytocin and a
less than positive attitude toward sex in general,
still is internally wired to WANT to connect with
her husband. Indeed, that desire is so strong, it
causes her to fight through many of the negative
side affects of her previous sexual experiences. A
man, however, has no such natural "wiring". If he
fails to properly "imprint" and bond to the wife
of his youth, he may spend the rest of his life in
a disconnected state from her. He may struggle
with a continuing desire to connect with what he
had imprinted on so many years earlier; hence his
desire for porn, affairs, lust, etc...

Again, not everyone experiences the
same degree of damage from sex before marriage,
but I don't believe anyone escapes untouched.
Certainly, the evidence is strong enough it should
cause you to have some very frank discussions with
your teenagers.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark Gungor is creator of books, videos, and
seminars that are humorous but get across a clear
scientific message of how we are "wired" for true
and loving marriages... Laugh Your Way to a Better
Marriage. http://www.laughyourway.com/

__________________________________

God bless your marriage and
family.

Jim
Stephens

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