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10 Things Guys Wish
Women Knew
about Men

Article by Jim
Burns

10 Things Guys Wish
Women Knew about Men

By Jim Burns

It is likely no surprise to you that God
has wired women and men differently. We all
recognize some of these differences, but others
often hide in plain sight. Shaunti Feldhahn, a
nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, author
and speaker recently wrote a fantastic book, For Women Only: What
You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of
Men . In it, she recounts the
surprising truths she learned about men after
interviewing more than one thousand of them.

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to
interview Shaunti for our radio broadcast,
HomeWord with Jim Burns. In our discussion, we
spoke about ten things guys wish women knew about
men. I think you'll find these ten things
fascinating! Even more, I believe that in
understanding these issues, you'll be equipped to
lead your marriage to a better place!

1) Men would rather feel unloved than
inadequate and disrespected. Husbands
need to know that their wives respect them both
privately and publicly. Men thrive when they know
that their wives trust them, admire them and
believe in them. Shaunti Feldhahn's research
indicated that men would rather sense the loss of
loving feelings from their wives than to be
disrespected by them.

2) A man's anger is often a response
to feeling disrespected by his wife. When
a husband becomes angry with his wife, he may not
come out and say, "You're disrespecting me!" But,
there is a good likelihood that he is feeling
stung by something his wife has done which he
considers disrespectful and humiliating.

3) Men are insecure. Men are
afraid that they aren't cutting it in life - not
just at work, but at home, in their role as a
husband. They may never vocalize this, but
inwardly, they are secretly vulnerable. The
antidote? Affirmation. To men, affirmation from
their wives is everything! If they don't receive
this affirmation from their wives, they'll seek it
elsewhere. When they receive regular and genuine
affirmation from their wives (not flattery, by the
way), they become much more secure and confident
in all areas of their lives.

4) Men feel the burden of being the
provider for their family.
Intellectually, it doesn't matter how much or
little a man makes, or whether or not his wife
makes more or less money in her career. Men simply
bear the emotional burden of providing for their
family. It's not a burden they've chosen to bear.
Men are simply wired with this burden. As such, it
is never far from their minds and can result in
the feeling of being trapped. While wives cannot
release their husbands from this burden, they can
relieve it through a healthy dose of appreciation,
encouragement and support.

5) Men want more sex.
Everyone's natural response to this is probably,
"Duh!" But, that response is probably for the
wrong reason. We primarily assume that men want
more sex with their wives due to their physical
wiring (their "needs"). But, surprisingly, Shaunti
Feldhahn's research showed that the reason men
want more sex is because of their strong need to
be desired by their wives. Men simply need to be
wanted. Regular, fulfilling sex is critical to a
man's sense of feeling loved and desired.

6) Sex means more than sex.
When men feel their wives desire them sexually, it
has a profound effect on the rest of their lives.
It gives them an increasing sense of confidence
and well-being that carries over into every other
area of his life. The flipside of this coin also
carries a profoundly negative affect. When a
husband feels rejected sexually, he not only feels
his wife is rejecting him physically, but that she
is somehow rejecting his life as a husband,
provider and man. This is why making sex a
priority in marriage is so incredibly important!

7) Men struggle with visual
temptation. This means the vast majority
of men respond to visual images when it comes to
women. And, this doesn't just mean the guys with
wandering eyes. Even the most godly husband cannot
avoid noticing a woman who dresses in a way that
draws attention to her body. Even if it is just a
glance, these visual images are stored away in the
male brain as a sort of "visual rolodex" that will
reappear without any warning. Men can choose
whether to dwell on these images and memories or
dismiss them, but they can't control when these
images appear.

8) Men enjoy romance, but doubt their
skills to be romantic. True, many men
appear to be unromantic clods, but it doesn't mean
that they want to be that way! Men want to be
romantic, but they just doubt their ability to
pull it off. They are plagued by internal
hesitations, perceiving the risk of humiliation
and failure as too high. Wives can do a great deal
to increase their husbands' confidence in their
romantic skills through encouragement and
redefining what romance looks like. For example, a
wife may balk when her husband asks her to go
along to the hardware store, but it's likely that
he's asking because he sees it as a time they can
get away as a couple and hang out together. What's
not romantic about that?

9) Men care about their wife's
appearance. This isn't saying that all
men want their wives to look like the latest
supermodel. What men really want is to know that
their wives are making an effort to take care of
themselves (and not letting themselves go) because
it matters to them (the husbands!). Husbands
appreciate the efforts their wives make to
maintain their attractiveness.

10) Men want their wives to know how
much they love them. This was the number
one response of men. Men aren't confident in their
ability to express this, but they love their wives
dearly. Men want to show how much they love their
wives and long for them to understand this fact.

Copyright © 2006 Jim Burns,
Read more
from Jim at http://www.homeword.com/

In response to the overwhelming needs of
parents and families, Jim Burns founded HomeWord
(formerly YouthBuilders) in 1985. HomeWord is a
Christian organization designed to provide
assistance to adults worldwide as they help young
people make wise decisions and lead positive,
vibrant, Christian lifestyles. Multiplication and
Leverage: While absolutely committed to young
people, HomeWord equips parents, grandparents and
youth leaders; those who daily reach out to kids.
By equipping adults, and leveraging those adults
to reach kids, HomeWord reaches more young people
more cost effectively.

_________________________________

God bless your marriage and
family.

Jim
Stephens

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For Women Only: What You Need to Know
about the Inner Lives of Men

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to
the Inner Lives of Women

Jim
Stephens
The Marriage
Library

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