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"TO DO" List for
Couples

Article by Ellen
Kreidman

TO DO LIST FOR
COUPLES

By Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D.

The best gift you can ever give your children
is a loving relationship with your mate. The
happiest, most well-adjusted children come from a
home where mommy and daddy love each other.

I have asked hundreds of couples who are
still in love with each other and whose children
are happy and well-adjusted, the secret of their
wonderful relationship. Although each couple may
say it differently, the bottom line is always the
same. Their relationship has been, is, and always
will be, their top priority.

Even couples with five or six children seized
the chance to make love when the baby took a nap
or when the older children were in school. These
happy couples are the ones who would hire a
baby-sitter so they could go to a movie, for a
walk or have a romantic dinner alone.

They are the ones who would trade
baby-sitting with a neighbor so they could spend a
weekend alone together. As the children got older,
these parents taught their children to respect
their privacy when the bedroom door was closed.

These were not terrible, selfish parents. On
the contrary, theirs was the healthy, normal
behavior of a couple who respected their own
sexuality and valued the romantic love they
shared.

The ideas below may seem far-fetched to some
people but I have incorporated every single one of
them in my own life. After 37 years of marriage, I
am still in love with my husband and have raised 3
happy, healthy, well-adjusted children.

1. A 10 Second Kiss Everyday
- A peck on the cheek says, "I love you," but a 10
second kiss says, "I'm still in love with you!"

2. A 20 Second Hug Everyday
- When giving a hug, focus on sending love from
your heart. It takes at least 5 seconds to block
out all the outside distractions and another 15
seconds to exchange that loving energy with one
another.

3. A 5 Second Compliment
Everyday - When your head hits the pillow
at night, ask yourself, "Did I make my mate feel
good today? Did I give a compliment? If the answer
is NO, you owe your mate two the next
day.

4. 30 Minutes of Dialogue
Everyday - Share your day. You need to
spend 30 minutes of uninterrupted time talking to
each other every day. If you don't, then the days
become weeks, and weeks become months and before
you know it, you're sitting across from a stranger
thinking, "I don't know you"!

5. Date Night Once a Week -
It doesn't matter where you go, as long as it's
just the two of you. You have 6 other evenings to
be with your family and friends. This is your
special night together.

6. Schedule Intimate Time Together on
the Calendar - We put doctor and dentist
appointments on the calendar. We even schedule car
maintenance on the calendar. We also need to put
the person who means the most to us on the
calendar.

7. Do Something Spontaneous Every 6
Months - Inside every man there's a
little boy and inside every woman there's a little
girl waiting to come out and play. The man or
woman who knows how to be playful is a joy in
someone's life.

8. Once Every 3 Months Schedule an
Overnight Stay at a Hotel - Everyone goes
on a honeymoon. A mini-moon every three months is
very important. You have to stop seeing each other
as mommy and daddy and instead as lovers. Many
hotels have inexpensive get-away packages. It will
renew your mind, body and spirit and give you more
energy when you return.

9. Once a Year Take a One Week
Vacation - You can be very creative so
that it doesn't cost a lot of money. You can make
an agreement with a friend to exchange babysitting
once a year. You can stay home and pretend you are
at a resort. Having breakfast in bed, taking long
walks, and just connecting in way that is not
possible with your children there, fortifies your
relationship for another year. Camping is another
possibility. Going for hikes, eating whenever you
want, sitting around the campfire, makes you more
patient and relaxed when you return.

10. Make a "Do Not Disturb" Sign for
Your Door. Explain to your children that
mommy and daddy need time alone. Help your
children make a sign for their door as well.

Learning how to put fun, romance and
communication in your relationship will form a
solid foundation for your children. Remember, if
you don't have a love affair with your mate,
someone else will!

Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D. is a highly acclaimed
relationship expert. She is the author of the Best
Selling Programs "Light His Fire (A
Program for Women Designed to Put Fun , Romance
and Communication in Your Relationship) " and "Light Her Fire: How to
Ignite Passion, Joy, and Excitement in the Women
You Love." For more information on an
alternative to marriage counseling visit her
website, http://www.lightyourfire.com/

_________________________________

God bless your marriage and
family.

Jim
Stephens

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Light His
Fire (A Program for Women Designed to Put Fun , Romance
and Communication in Your Relationship)

Light Her Fire: How to Ignite Passion, Joy, and
Excitement in the Women You Love

Jim
Stephens
The Marriage
Library

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