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Tips from The Marriage
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Valuable Information:

The Five
Languages of Apology

Book Review by Jim
Stephens

Here is a book I highly
recommend.  -
Jim
_________________________________________________

The Five Languages of
Apology:
How to Experience Healing in
All Your Relationships

By Dr. Gary Chapman and
Dr. Jennifer Thomas
Copyright 2006, Northfield
Publishing: Chicago, IL

Book Review by Jim
Stephens

This is one of the most powerful and profound
books I have read in years. The insights it gives
into problems that arise in human relationships
are amazing. Page after page I was impressed with
the depth of this research and its practical
application to our day to day lives.

Relationships between husbands and wives,
between parents and children, between friends,
between co-workers and others are all negatively
effected when we make mistakes. If we don't know
how to successfully reconcile through the apology
process, the relationship remains damaged and even
worse takes another step toward a final and
permanent breakdown.

This book was based on research with several
thousand interviews asking people what it takes
for them to really believe that an apology is
sincere. The breakthrough conclusion is that
people are very different in what they consider a
true apology. What one person will accept is often
not acceptable to another person.

What you might offer as an apology because it
is acceptable to you may not be what the other
person will accept. Based on your apology, you
expect forgiveness and reconciliation. But if it
is not forthcoming, you are confused and
frustrated, even resentful. This can lead to
compounded problems in the relationship and long
standing quarrels and misunderstandings.

If your significant other is not using your
"apology language", then it's easy to see how you
might never be satisfied.

The book also contains an important chapter
on "Apologizing To Yourself". This chapter is very
insightful for many people who are trapped in
self-condemnation and unable to love
themselves.

In the back of the book is a 20 question quiz
that allows you to discover your Apology Language.
Just taking this quiz without doing anything else
was a deep experience for me and showed me many
deep insights into the concept.

Here is a link to the full Apology Language Quiz.

Here is a webpage that can give you a quick
insight into what might be your Apology Language:
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html

One chapter that I think is missing from the
book and would have been an outstanding
contribution to the whole subject would be called
"Apologizing to God". How do we truly confess our
sins to God and then be able to feel His
forgiveness in return? It seems that a person with
each of the five different "Apology Languages"
would have a different encounter with God and
require a different process to experience
forgiveness and the Divine Love that appears on
the other side.

I believe that this book can lead to a
"paradigm shift" in human relationships, helping
us get beyond being stuck, and showing us how to
reach reconciliation whenever it's needed in our
relationships.

I highly recommend this book. You should know
that it is a very challenging read which will hit
you very squarely in the heart.

Here are the "Five Apology Languages" in
their briefest form.

"I am sorry."

Expressing Regret
"I was
wrong."
Accepting Responsibility
"What can I do to make
it right?" Making Restitution
"I'll try
not to do that
again."
Genuinely Repenting (Change)
"Will you
please forgive me?"
Requesting forgiveness

_____________________________________________________

God bless your marriage and
family.

Jim
Stephens

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The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience
Healing in All Your Relationships

The Five Love
Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your
Mate

Got
Questions?
Send me an email.

Jim Stephens

Jim
Stephens
The Marriage
Library

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