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Valuable Information:

For Men Only - Part 2:

a straightforward guide to
the inner lives of
women

By Jeff and
Shaunti
Feldhahn

This book has great research and
insights. This is part 2 of the Quick Start
Guide. -
Jim
_________________________________________________

Quick Start
Guide to For Men Only:  a
straightforward guide to the inner lives of
women

Jeff Feldhahn's Note to
the Reader:

This book is about
something guys tend to think of as complex: the
inner workings of women.

But after a year of research and
input from more than 3,000 women - including a
professional national survey - I've seen that they
actually can be understood.

We've identified six key findings
about women that explain many of the mysteries and
enable you to love her the way you want to and be
her hero.   (Here
are #4, #5, and #6. -Jim)

Key 4:
Listening

Why does
she...?

· Say she doesn't want you
to fix it, she just wants you to listen?
And what does that means, anyway?

· Say "You're not
listening!" when you've already been listening
to her for half an hour?

Here's
why:

· When she is sharing an
emotional problem (as opposed to, say, "The car
has a flat tire"), what she is feeling about the
problem is actually more important to her than
the problem itself.

· What she is feeling is
actually the "real problem."  Therefore,
listening to her feelings solves the
problem.

What to
do:

· Instead of filtering out
her emotions to focus on the problem, lean to
filter out the problem in order to focus on her
feelings.

· Only after you have
acknowledged her feelings will she want to focus
on a solution.

Key 5:
Sex

Why does
she...?

· Rarely initiate sex?

· Say she enjoys it, but
never seems to really want to start it?

· Say "Not tonight,
honey," but still claim that she finds you
irresistible?

· Say she doesn't feel
"close enough" for sex - when sex would bring
you closer?

Here's
why:

· Most women (not all) are
physically wired to crave sex less than men
do.  But they do enjoy it just as much.

· When most women avoid
their husband's advances, it has nothing to do
with his desirability - it has to do with the
woman's physical differences, need for closeness
in the relationship outside the bedroom, and
need for "anticipation" time.

What to
do:

· Give her either "warm
up" time, or time to flirt and anticipate.

· Pursue her so she knows
she's sexy to you outside the bedroom.

· Create a context of
closeness and emotional security outside the
bedroom.

Key 6:
Beauty

Why does
she...?

· Ask, "Do these pants
make me look fat?"

· Ask, "How do I look?"
then make you think you did something wrong when
you tell her that she looks just fine?

· Get upset just because
you noticed that scantily-clad woman walking
past - even though no man who still has a pulse
could have done otherwise?

Here's
why:

· A woman has a deep need
to know that her husband of boyfriend finds her
beautiful.

· When she asks you how
she looks, she is not asking whether she's
presentable for the party.  She wants to
know that she still rocks your world.

· In this culture, where
women subconsciously compare themselves with the
scantily-clad women in the mall and on
television, your wife or girlfriend looks to you
for cues about whether she measures up in your
eyes.

What to
do:

· This one is a simple
action with big impact: Tell her she's
beautiful.  Regularly.

· Make sure your visual
choices tell her that she's the only woman for
you.

_____________________________________________________

God
bless your marriage and family.

Jim
Stephens

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For Men
Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of
Women

For Women
Only:
What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of
Men

For Young
Women Only:
What You Need to Know About How Guys
Think

For Young
Men Only:
A Guy's Guide to the Alien
Gender

10 Best Tips on
Prayer

Got
Questions?
Send me an email.

Jim Stephens

Jim
Stephens
The Marriage
Library

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