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The Last Self-Help Book
You'll Ever
Need

Book
Report by Jim
Stephens

The
Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever
Need:

Why almost everything "self-help" experts
teach you about how to achieve happiness is the
precise opposite of the truth

by Dr. Paul Pearsall

Most people now accept these statements, "You
can't love someone until you learn to love
yourself." "Feeling guilty is unhealthy." "It's
important to be in touch with your feelings."

These are self-evident truths, right? Wrong,
according to  neuropsychologist Dr. Paul
Pearsall in The Last Self-Help Book
You'll Ever Need.

Dr. Pearsall cites reams of scientific
evidence to debunk what he calls the "McMorals of
self-help" -- showing why they are not only wrong,
but harmful. In their stead, he offers commonsense
strategies for coping with life's trials -- and he
reveals why self-help no-no's like "denial,"
"repression," and even "pessimism" can actually be
good for you.

Dr. Pearsall is a speaker and author of over
15 books. He has practiced psychotherapy for over
30 years and survived a terrifying battle with
cancer.

The chief problem with most "self-help"
advice, Dr. Pearsall shows, is that it's so
self-centered. Using examples from his
own clinical practice, he reveals how real
happiness comes when we focus on other people's
feelings and problems rather than our own.

Pearsall also explains what research
scientists call "The Big Five" personality traits
most likely to lead to a sense of well-being --
all five of them behaviors that have nothing
to do with "enhancing self-esteem". These traits
are Extroversion (reaching out to others),
Agreeableness (being compliant and
pleasant), Emotional Stability (knowing and
controlling your emotions), Openness (being
open and vulnerable to others and with others),
and Conscientious (knowing what others
think and living up to it).

Dr. Pearsall also attacks what he calls the
"sex establishment" with intelligence and humor,
backing it up with careful research.

Some examples of Dr. Pearsall's
counter-intuitive advice are:

~ Self-esteem: Highly
overrated. In fact, research shows that
high self-esteem relates to health problems and
stress. Moreover, mass murderers, gang leaders,
and even playground bullies are distinguishable
not by their low opinion of themselves but instead
by their inflated self-esteem and disregard for
others.

~ Guilt: Highly underrated
-- and the only way to identify and make needed
changes in behavior that is harming others. In
fact, research shows that the happiest, healthiest
people are often guilty worriers.

~ "Learning to love
yourself": Despite Whitney Houston's
self-help anthem, "Learning to Love Yourself Is
the Greatest Love of All," loving us is someone
else's job, and loving someone else is a
prerequisite to the right to love ourselves.
Putting ourselves first makes us contemptible,
both to others and to ourselves.

~ Being "Judgmental": Yes,
we should avoid snap judgments. But Dr. Pearsall
shows why making moral judgments about others --
and ourselves -- is essential to mental and social
well-being as well as spiritual and moral growth.

~ Throttle Your Inner Child:
Your "outer elder" is more important. Self-help
wrongly embraces the idea that infancy is more
important than any other stage of life.

~ Your parents: If you're
messing up, it's your fault, not theirs. Research
shows that childhood experiences have almost
nothing to do with problems in adulthood.

~ "Getting in touch with your
feelings": why it's dangerous to your
health -- and the health of those around you.

~ Grieving: there are no
"stages" of it, and it's not something to be
"treated" by "grief counselors."

~ Your "limitless potential":
Sorry, you can't "do anything you put
your mind to" - and pursuing goals that are truly
out of reach will only make you miserable.

_____________________________________________________

God
bless your marriage and family.

Jim
Stephens

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The Last Self-Help
Book
You'll Ever Need

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Prayer

Got
Questions?
Send me an email.

Jim Stephens

Jim
Stephens
The Marriage
Library

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