The Top Five Dating Fears of Men
by eHarmony Staff
Knowing what men instinctively fear can be a great way for women to begin to think about their own behavior -- and the effect it may have on dating life!
Most people don't really like to date. It is a necessary stepping stone that they approach with resolve or dread or even fear. As much as we all want a person to love and understand us, there is a certain element of Russian roulette to dating.
The first few dates are like job interviews with everyone on their best behavior. Who knows what will happen when your date becomes a real person a couple of months down the line?
Each gender has a unique set of fears based on their biology and the normal socialization that we all go through. In this article, we're going to look at the most common fears that men have when they are considering a dating relationship.
Are these universal? Of course not. Are they common? You bet. Here they are in no particular order.
One Fear: You'll Come Between Him and His Friends
Oh, he knows you're not going to say, "Listen, I don't want you spending time with your friends." It's much more subtle than that. It can start with a "Sports again? I made plans for us to go on a hike." It progresses through "That guy Joe is really a jerk!" and on to "I don't like how you act when you're with these guys!" Before he knows it, he has traded a core of life-long friends for a woman who likes to make up rules.
Perhaps these are legitimate observations. He may be boorish when he's around his pals. From his perspective, it doesn't matter. No guy wants to start a relationship with a woman only to end up estranged from his buddies six months later.
A Second Fear: You'll Soak Up All of his Free Time
"Together Time" is an interesting concept. Some people need lots of together time when they date -- lots of calls, texts, strolls, and evenings spent watching TV cuddled on the couch. Some feel comfortable with a couple of dates a week.
While together time needs vary wildly independent of gender, many men have a fear of being confined in a relationship (just as many women have a fear of being abandoned in a relationship). They worry about an ever increasing schedule of together time activities that cuts into other things they enjoy.
Of course, if he didn't want a relationship, then he wouldn't be dating, but all men have seen friends who lose their grip on beloved activities once they enter a serious relationship.
Guys who love golf and then can't find the time for a round. Guys who take cross country motorcycle trips and then end up selling their bike. Guys who are always good for a round of wings and a football game and then are never free anymore.
When a single man thinks about those friends he doesn't think, "Wow, why weren't they strong enough to stand up for the things that were important to them AND have a great relationship?" Instead he thinks, "Danger! Women soak up free time."
Come back tomorrow for three more of men's fears in dating and relationships.
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