Summary of this article
I continue to recommend the work that Gary Chapman did to create his book, The Five Languages of Apology. Here is another key insight about sincerity.
Jim |
No Sincerity, Apology Not Accepted By Gary Chapman What most people are looking for in an apology is sincerity. If you have offended me and you are trying to apologize, what I want to know is are you sincere? But how do you determine sincerity? Therein lies the problem. What one person considers to be sincere is not what another person considers to be sincere.
This is a profound discovery. Research has revealed that there are five basic elements to an apology. I call them the Five Languages of Apology. For most people, one or two of these elements speak more deeply of whether or not you are sincere than the others. If you don't hit on them, even if you do the others very sincerely, they will not recognize that you are sincere. You do not need to include all five languages to offer an effective apology to a particular individual. For an apology to be accepted however, you need to speak the language (or perhaps two languages ) that conveys sincerity in the mind of the individual that is offended. The first language of apology is what I call "Expressing Regret". In other words, that means saying, "I'm sorry." It is expressing to the offended person your own sense of pain that your behavior has hurt them. Regret focuses on what you did or failed to do and how it affected the other person.
Learn all five and the insights will have a profound effect on all your relationships.
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God bless your marriage and family.
Jim Stephens |
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