Summary of this article
Dr. Harley is one of the original pioneers for research into understanding marriage and marriage enrichment. His book was ground-breaking when it first came out in 1986. I think this "Ruel" is one of his best.
Jim |
Four Rules for a Successful Marriage, Rule #3 by Willard F. Harley Rule #3: The Rule of Honesty Honesty and Openness is one of the ten most important emotional needs identified in marriage, which means that when it's met, it can trigger the feeling of love. But it's counterpart, dishonesty, is one of the five most destructive "Love Busters". When spouses are dishonest, they destroy the love they have for each other. But there is a third reason that honesty is crucial in marriage. * Honesty is the only way that you and your spouse will ever come to understand each other. * Without honesty, the adjustments that are crucial to the creation of compatibility in your marriage cannot be made. * Without honesty, your best efforts to resolve conflicts will be wasted because you will not understand each other well enough to find mutually acceptable solutions. * Without honesty, you'll never know if your partner really loves the true you. You will always have some doubt. The secret you might be unlovable for them. (added by Jim Stephens) The Policy of Radical Honesty Reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know; your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future. To help explain this policy, I have broken it down into four parts: 1. EMOTIONAL HONESTY: Reveal your emotional reactions, both positive and negative, to the events of your life, particularly to your spouse's behavior. 2. HISTORICAL HONESTY: Reveal information about your personal history, particularly events that demonstrate personal weakness or failure. 3. CURRENT HONESTY: Reveal information about the events of your day. Provide your spouse with a calendar of your activities, with special emphasis on those that may affect your spouse. 4. FUTURE HONESTY: Reveal your thoughts and plans regarding future activities and objectives. _________________________________________________
God bless your marriage and family.
Jim Stephens |
Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!
Practical tips and news sent to you every day.
Low monthly fee of only $5. Less for a whole year than a few hours at a marriage seminar.
One email could change your marriage!!! ....priceless.
Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes. |