The Importance of Prioritizing Time as a Family - Part 4
Stephen Covey, EdD
We struggle to balance our career responsibilities with the time our families need during the week, and on the weekend, too.
How to restore the boundaries and find balance between work and family?
The next 3 days, we'll look at a Three-step strategy for prioritizing our family time.
3. Schedule a one-on-one weekly get-together with each family member. On average, a father spends five minutes alone with a child each day. A mother spends only 20 minutes. Spouses, too, spend little time alone together.
The greatest need for anyone, especially a child, is to feel that he/she is loved and special.
And the best way to give someone that nurtured feeling is to give your undivided time and attention. In fact, it's during one-on-one bonding times that the deepest emotional nurturing is done.
At these private dates, don't teach or lecture. These are times to listen and understand.
With this in mind, let the other person set the agenda. One child might want to go jogging with you, another might want to go for a drive, while another might want to go fishing.
Put an industrial-sized zipper on your mouth.
This is the time to concentrate on the other person.
Scheduling these dates in advance ensures that they will happen, and it also creates a marvelous "shared expectation." The anticipation of this "you're special" time is as great as the realization of that actual time spent together.
Creating traditions creates warmth. Building traditions around special times is another important way to unite your family. Often taken for granted, traditions send the message, "This is how we do things as a family."
They also create even more wonderful shared expectations, joyful times and happy memories for all family members.
As part of your weekly family time, explore how you would like to observe special events, such as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.
Don't confine traditions only to obvious major events. A tradition can be as simple as pancakes on Sunday mornings or planting flower seeds.
Planning your traditions builds up expectations and that intensifies the intimacy of the family experience.
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Stephen Covey is author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families (Golden Books).
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