Do You Feel You Have More Faith Than Your Spouse?

by Les and Leslie Strobel 

When I (Lee) was still a hard-core spiritual skeptic, Leslie had a vision of what I would look like if I would only become a Christian. She imagined I would become transformed into the perfect husband.

Well, I did become a Christian and...let's just say I have never quite lived up to Leslie's rosy expectations!

God has changed my values, priorities, and worldview over the years, for which we're both grateful. But I'm still me. God may have rounded off many of my sharp edges, but I am far from being the perfect mate.

"I'd caution any Christian in a mismatched marriage to be realistic about her spouse," Leslie said. "Not every annoying thing he does is a direct result of him not being a Christian. If you think he's going to be immediately perfected when he becomes a believer, you're putting an undue burden on him and you're setting yourself up for disappointment."

She goes on, "Besides, if you blame his lack of spiritual interest for all his shortcomings, you're giving him a convenient excuse for not continuing to grow as a husband and father."  

As a result, Leslie stopped banking on my conversion to turn me into the ideal mate at some undefined future time. Instead, she became more actively involved in gently encouraging me to continue growing as a husband.

She had honest talks with me about how we could each better contribute to a more harmonious relationship. This also had the benefit of taking the spotlight off of our mismatched situation so that it didn't become the unrelenting focus of our lives.

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God bless you and your family,

Jim