Women's Moods Are All Over The Place

By John Gray

She's up, she's down... she's all around. Ever wonder why it is that a woman can be laughing and happy one minute and crying and sad the next. How in the world is a guy supposed to know which way is up when it comes women's moods?

And, what is it that causes this dramatic shift in emotions? Is it his fault? Is it her fault? Did he say too much or not enough? Is she just too sensitive?

Well, here's what's up (and down). A woman is like a wave. Her self-esteem rises and falls in a wave-like motion. When she is feeling really good she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change, and her wave crashes down. This crash is temporary. After she reaches bottom suddenly her mood will shift and she will again feel good about herself. Automatically her wave begins to rise back up.

When a woman's wave rises she feels she has an abundance of love to give, but when it falls she feels her inner emptiness and needs to be filled up with love. But soon after she reaches the bottom, if she feels loved and supported, she will automatically start to feel better. As suddenly as she may have crashed, she will automatically rise up and again radiate love in her relationships.

A woman's self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits bottom it is a time for emotional housekeeping.

A woman's ability to give and receive love in her relationships is generally a reflection of how she is feeling about herself. When her wave hits bottom she is more vulnerable and needs more love.

When a woman is loved by a man, she begins to shine with love and fulfillment. Typically, a man will expect that shine to last forever. But to expect her loving nature to be constant is like expecting the weather never to change and the sun to shine all the time. Life is filled with rhythms - day turns to night, seasons change - likewise in a relationship, men and women have their own rhythms and cycles.

In relationships, a woman's natural rhythm is to rise and fall in her ability to love herself and others.

A man may feel responsible for his partner's sudden mood changes and assume it is based solely upon his behavior. He may feel extremely frustrated and try to make it better. When a man thinks there is something wrong with a woman's tendency to go up and down with her moods, he may try to "fix it." Unfortunately, this will only make matters worse.

A man may try to prevent a woman from hitting bottom. He may want to rescue her by pulling her up. When a woman is going down she needs to hit bottom before she can come up. The last thing a woman needs when she is on her way down is someone telling her why she shouldn't be down or upset. She needs someone to listen to her with caring, warmth and empathy.

A woman needs someone to be with her as she goes down, to listen to her while she shares her feelings and to empathize with what she is going through. Even if a man cannot fully understand why a woman feels overwhelmed or distressed, he can offer his love, attention and support.

When the wave is on its upswing a woman may seem strong, loving and totally on top of the world. After the wave peaks, she may start to feel needy and possessive.

Studies have revealed that a woman's self-esteem generally rises and falls in a twenty-one to thirty-five day cycle. When a woman is on her way up she sees the fullness of her life, while on the way down, she only sees the emptiness.

By understanding how women are like waves, a man realizes that the recurrence of her neediness and insecurity is natural, inevitable and temporary.

Learning about waves, a man can fully understand and support his partner and give her the love she deserves when she needs it the most.

_______________________________________________________

God bless your family and your marriage.

Jim Stephens