--Leaders recognize that facts do not mean any one thing

Your brain can store 100 trillion facts. Your mind can handle 15,000 decisions a second. You can smell 10,000 different odors. Your touch can detect a 1/25,000 of an inch of difference. You can taste one part quinine in 2 million parts water.

So, why is it you don't feel special or capable? What an absurd notion! I suggest that something happened and you decided you were not important or special. Write two words down: FACT and MEANING.

Facts are experiences, feelings we've had, while meaning is the "interpretation" we put to that experience or feeling.

A friend of mine wanted a doll when she was very young. Her father would not get it for her. That's a fact. It's something that really happened. Then she put a meaning to it.
She decided she wasn't worth it. If she was really worth it, her dad would have bought the $10 doll.

Can you think of another meaning she could have put to that very same fact? Sure you can, such as, "We can't afford it, or Dad does not love me." Now, think of one or two more meanings.

The point is, we make up meanings for everything that happens in life. Begin to realize that you are making the meanings up. Facts are not meanings! They are two separate things.

Most people take meanings to be true and believe there could be no other meaning. This is huge! Leaders, on the other hand, recognize that facts do not mean any one thing.

If you are in sales, what do you make the word "No" mean? Suppose it meant something other than the person wasn't interested?

If you have a boss who did not return a phone call, what did you make that mean? What if you picked the wrong meaning?

What happened where you decided you weren't special? What else could you make that same experience mean that would help you in living the life you want? It may not mean that, but at least pick meanings that support you in the direction you want to go in life.

When young students completely flunk a test, they invariably make it mean that they are slow, stupid, a failure, or something similar. It doesn't mean that.

For many years I would go into schools and in 10 minutes have the children memorize all the colonies in the order they signed the constitution. Then I would have a child stand up who I knew was flunking. I would get them to give me the first 13 colonies--in the order they signed the constitution!
They always got it right.

Then they would do it backwards. They'd go cross-eyed. They had a mental melt down of sorts, because now they were thinking they were a genius.

It didn't really mean that, but I would rather they thought they were a genius, because that changed their study habits, how they listened, how they performed on tests--and most importantly, what they thought about themselves.

TAKEAWAY!

You are special, not because of anything you have done. It is simply so. Facts in and of themselves do not have any inherent meaning.

Action Step #1

This week, pretend you are very special. Live as if you were very unique, valuable, and special. Talk with a tone of voice as if you were special. Talk to the people you would normally talk to if you were special.

Action Step #2

Write down your most vivid memory as a child.

Then, write down everything you made that mean about you or life. What do you see?

An Example

My friend, Bob Harrison, and I were both speaking at a large convention in Sweden. He shared something personal with me he has said is okay for me to share with you.

His childhood sweetheart and wife of 37 years had died a little over a year before. He had started dating again and some of his friends felt that it was too early to date and that could mean he had not cared as deeply for his wife as they had thought.

Bob had loved his wife dearly and was hurt by their reactions. I told him not to be upset and showed him why not with my explanation about fact-and-meaning.

The fact he was dating again did not necessarily mean that he had not had deep feelings for her. It could mean that being married to her was such a wonderful experience that he greatly missed that kind of relationship. My example helped to relieve his anxiety.

Months later Bob told me a story that is a very funny example of fact vs meaning. Bob is a motivational speaker and he's in front of crowds of 10,000 and more regularly (www.increase.org). One occasion he was teaching on increase to a seminar group. He noticed one individual in the audience who just didn't seem to be interested in what he was saying. The man just sat there with his eyes closed and was not taking any notes of Bob's presentation. Bob determined that he was going to get this man to be attentive. He walked across the stage to a section of the crowd that was really into his presentation. He got himself all charged up and went back over to the guy who had his eyes closed.

Still no reaction! He went back to the highly motivated section again, talked with them and then returned to the other side to find the man STILL had his eyes closed.

About the fifth time of going over to the man with his eyes closed, Bob went a bit further to that side and got closer to the man. It was then that he noticed something in the aisle next to the man . . . a seeing eye dog. It wasn't that the man wasn't motivated and not enjoying the teaching. He was blind!

Bob said, "Never again will I be so quick to make a fact mean something."

 

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