Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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Valuable Information:
 
For Men Only - Part 1: 
 
a straightforward guide to the inner lives of women
 
By Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn

This book has great research and insights. We present the Quick Start Guide today and tomorrow. - Jim 
_________________________________________________ 
 
 
Quick Start Guide to For Men Only:  a straightforward guide to the inner lives of women

Jeff Feldhahn's Note to the Reader:

This book is about something guys tend to think of as complex: the inner workings of women. 
 
But after a year of research and input from more than 3,000 women - including a professional national survey - I've seen that they actually can be understood. We've identified six key findings about women that explain many of the mysteries and enable you to love her the way you want to and be her hero. 
 
Use this quick start guide to get the big picture now.

Key 1: Reassurance

Why does she...?

· Ask, "Do you love me?" even though you just said "I love you" this morning?

· Take your need for space as a signal that you're upset with and trying to get away from her?
 
· Want to talk about your relationship... mostly at those times you least want to?
 
Here's why:
 
· Women have an underlying insecurity about whether their man really loves them.
 
· When that latent insecurity is triggered, they are often preoccupied with getting the relationship back on track.
 
What to do:

 · Reassure her that you love her.
 
· If you need space, say something that will ease her mind, like, "I need space right now, but I want you to know that we're okay."
Key 2: Emotions

Why does she...?
 
· Out of nowhere, bring up something that happened two years ago?
 
· Seem to obsess about something better left alone?
 
· Get an idea in her head and fixate on it, even if you've already explained why it's no big deal?
 
Here's why:
 
· Women have involuntary emotional "pop-ups" that rise up from the present of the past.
 
· Women often can't "compartmentalize" and just decide not to think about something that is bothering them.
 
What to do:
 
· Don't say, "Just don't think about it."  That may be physically and mentally impossible for most women.
 
· Help her "close those windows" by encouraging her to take whatever action is necessary to resolve her concern.
Key 3: Security

Why does she...?
 
· Accuse you of "not caring about her," when you're working long hours to provide security for her and the kids?
 
· Say she wants you around more, but also seems to want the nice things that can only come if you have a higher-paying job?
 
· Say she doesn't feel close to you, when you two are married, in the same house, and sharing the same bed?
 
Here's why:
 
· For a woman, "emotional security" and closeness are far more important than financial security.
 
· For a woman, security means you will always be there for her and closeness means you are best friends
 
What to do:
 
· Realize that if she says she wants you around more, she's probably willing to downsize your lifestyle if it is necessary to make that happen.
 
· Since it's the little things that build a sense of closeness, one example is to leave her a 30-second voice mail during the day just telling her how much you love her.
 
· Realize you don't have to stay in a job you dislike; your wife prefers you to be happy.
 
Keys 4 - 6 Tomorrow.
 
_____________________________________________________
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
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Book

 

Book

For Women Only:
What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

 
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For Young Women Only:
What You Need to Know About How Guys Think

 
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Got Questions?
Send me an email.
Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library