Who knew the trash was so important?

You are the king of the romantic gesture - you buy flowers, candy, and trinkets from Tiffany's, yet your batting average in the bedroom is worse than a pitcher on a baseball team. What gives? Don't women like these things? Well, yes they do, but here's a tip for you: If you really want to score in the bedroom, then try taking out the trash.

That's right. Without being asked or reminded...take out the trash. It is cheaper than flowers, and you get the same effect or better.

Although it may seem a dozen roses would be a far more romantic gesture than hauling garbage to the curb, the fact of the matter is that to a woman, you get one point for each. Yup, that's one point for the dozen red roses that cost you $29.95 and one point for taking out the trash, which cost you nothing but a mere minute of your time.

In addition, by contributing to the household duties, you lighten her load, which gives her more time and energy for showing her appreciation. If you really want to up your odds for a little nookie at night, offer to do the dishes as well. Again, it's a point in your favor that doesn't cost anything (unlike Godiva chocolates) and your thoughtfulness will pay off in the end.

Picture this scenario: It's 8:00 am and you're both running late. You rush out the door with a quick, "Bye, honey!" Meanwhile, she's mopping up the puddle you left in the bathroom after your shower, putting the pile of towels and clothes you left strewn in the middle of the floor in the hamper, and gathering up the dry cleaning to drop off.

On her way out the door, she sees that you have neglected yet again to do your share. She has to drop the dry cleaning and lug the trash cans down the driveway. Tottering in her high heels, she's rushing because the garbage truck is barreling down the road. She gets a run in her stocking. She has to go back in the house to change. Now she's really late for work.

She doesn't have time to stop at the dry cleaners before work. Her boss chews her out for being late. She has to stay later to catch up and when she gets to the dry cleaners after work, it has just closed. She gets home and starts dinner but in the middle of preparations she finds that there's no more milk. You put back the carton with three drops left in it into the refrigerator. Then you waltz in the door with a dozen roses - all ready to be romantic. Think you're getting any tonight? Think again. Yeah, maybe you get one point for the roses, but you lost points for the puddle, the towels, the milk carton, the trash can, etc. . . .

The secret to romancing your honey is that foreplay isn't the fifteen minutes before intercourse - it's the twenty-four hours prior. Here's a replay of the same scenario that will increase the odds in your favor for some good lovin' in the evening:

After you take your shower, you mop up the puddle and deposit your clothes and towels in the hamper. As you're about to leave, you ask, "Honey, do you need me to drop anything off or pick anything up for you? I think we may need some milk." She says, "If you could pick some up on the way home, that would be great. I was going to make fettuccine alfredo tonight. Also, could you drop off the dry cleaning?' You say, "No problem," and pick up the pile. You stop and give her a big kiss good-bye. The kind of kiss that makes her think about you all day. With the dry-cleaning under one arm, you drag each trashcan out to the curb and then you head for work. You come home with some milk from the grocery store. She gives you a big kiss, "Thanks so much, honey. I really appreciate you doing that." Then after dinner, you tell her, "No, no - you worked so hard to make this delicious meal. I'll do the dishes."

So now you didn't even buy flowers, but you get a point for not leaving a puddle, for cleaning up after yourself, for remembering that you drank the last of the milk, for offering to pick some up, for dropping off the dry cleaning, for taking out the trash, for the kiss good-bye and for doing the dishes. That's eight points. Of course, life isn't about keeping score, but it is about knowing how to please your partner. The man who has scored eight points in one day will win his partner's undying appreciation.

 

Just imagine how she might choose to show you how much she cares!
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