Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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Valuable Information:
 
6 Things Women Wish Men Knew About Them
Part 2 
 
 
By Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn and Jim Burns

Today's Marriage Tip is part 2 from the book, For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women. The book is based on a huge nationwide survey and hundreds of interviews. This is good stuff for the guys. - Jim 
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6 Things Women Wish Men Knew About them -
 
   Part 2 of 2
 
It is likely no surprise to you that God has wired women and men differently. We all recognize some of these differences, but others often hide in plain sight.
 
For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women, recounts the surprising truths learned about women after a national survey of 3,000 women and hundreds of follow-up interviews.

Here is a summary of the second three of the six things women wish men knew about them. 
 
"I believe that in understanding these issues, you'll be equipped to lead your marriage to a better place!", according to Jim Burns. 
 
4. Women want men to hear and validate their feelings, not just the problem at hand.
Most men know that their wives don't want them to "fix" their problems. They want their husbands to listen.
 
So, why is it that husbands can listen to their wives talk, and still be accused of not listening? It's because of the difference in the way men and women handle emotions.
 
Men want to discard the clutter of emotions and focus on the problem.
 
But, for women, how they feel about the problem is the real problem.
 
When men listen with an ear to hear, validate and empathize with their wives' emotions about a problem, wives feel that they have been heard.
5. Most women are wired to desire sex less than men. But, not being "in the mood" doesn't reflect a lack of desire for their husband.
When men think about sex, they process everything through the grid how desirable they are. So, when wives aren't "in the mood," it feels like rejection to men; that they aren't desirable enough.
 
Most women on the other hand, find that their husband's desirability has almost nothing to do with their own sex drive.
 
Most women are wired with "receptive desire." This means that while they typically enjoy sex as much as men, they just aren't wired as heavily to initiate sex.
 
Women need time for sexual anticipation.
 
Further, for most women, sex is more about emotional connectedness than it is for men. Men would be wise to cultivate closeness and emotional security with their wives outside of the bedroom.  
6. Women need reassurance that they're beautiful and that they rock their husbands' world!
God has wired women with an emotional need to know that their husbands still find them beautiful.
 
In our culture that promotes scantily clad women in all forms of media, women subconsciously compare themselves to these images and often find themselves not measuring up.
 
So, when a wife asks her husband, "Do these pants make me look fat?" she's not really asking about the fit of the pants. She's wondering if her husband still finds her to be the apple of his eye.
 
Men should make an intentional effort to regularly remind their wives that they find them beautiful!
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Shaunti Feldhahn, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, author and speaker, and her husband, Jeff, recently co-authored this book. Their website contains all the surveys and the results if you sign up for free membership.
 
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God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

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Book

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

 

Book

For Women Only:
What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

 
Book

For Young Women Only:
What You Need to Know About How Guys Think

 
Book
 
Jim Hiromi
 
Got Questions?
Send me an email.
Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library