Women Want Attention, But It Increases His Sexual Desire

By Mark Gungor

It is not a secret that men and women typically want different things from one another in a marriage.

Ask 100 women what they want more of from their husband and most of them will say they want him to pay more attention to them. Ask 100 guys what they want more of from their wife and most of them will say they want more sex... no surprise there! These differing wants are the ingredients for a perfect stand-off between men and women.

Women will say, "I'd make love to him more if he'd just give me some attention and I felt like he cared about me for more than just sex." Men will say, "I give her attention and that just makes me want her more, but she still doesn't want to have sex." And it's true that when a man gives his attention to his wife, it increases his sexual desire for her!

Desire fills him as a result of paying attention to the woman - his sexual interest increases as he focuses in on his wife. Much of the attention that men give, whether women like it or not, is sexually driven. Sex and attention all go together, you can't separate the two for men. Whatever we give our attention to is what we end up desiring.

The advertising business knows this because all they have to do is get you to pay attention to a 30 second commercial and the desire to get the product they are selling begins to sprout. Anything you give your time and attention to will also be the thing that you desire.

So it is with men and their wives. And while women love the attention, they are often not so crazy about the desire that follows. They want the attention but say, "No thanks!" to the desire part. Ladies, you must understand that when that man of yours pays attention but you continually stiff-arm him and rebuff his needs, when you push him away and say, "No" to his desire, he is going to stop the attention.

A man doesn't do this to be mean or to intentionally hurt his wife, but the dude can get so frustrated after a while when he is continually being shut down by his wife. Often husbands will do whatever they can to decrease their desire, to minimize their constant sexual frustration - and that means they stop the attention, so they aren't going crazy. Then the woman will cry, "Pay attention! You aren't paying attention to me!" It becomes a crazy cycle.

If women would understand this, they could make it work for their benefit! The guy is much more likely to give you attention when you are fulfilling the desire that the attention creates! Pretty simple solution if you can understand that the desire is actually created when he is giving you what you crave. Believe me, your man will have little to no problem giving you even more attention when you reward his efforts by meeting his need.