Daily Tips from The Marriage Library.com
Library pic
 
16 NEVERS When Resolving Conflict - Part 2
 
By Tommy Nelson

Apr. 29, 2011                                                                                                Issue 632    

 

Summary of this article
 
Here are some very good reminders if you ever get into a conflict with your spouse. Tommy Nelson explains each "never" and why it is hurtful to the two people involved and others around them. This is part 2.

Jim   

16 NEVERS When Resolving Conflict - Part 2

 

By Tommy Nelson

 

Never #4: Never Use Your Children In Conflict

 

Sometimes parents ask one of their children to side with them in an argument, to help them in their defense, or even to lie for them. Again, this is not modeling good communication skills or good conflict resolution.  

 

A child needs the assurance that both parents love each other and are able to resolve their differences by themselves. To ask a child to side with one parent is to put the child in an extremely awkward and undesirable position.

 

Too many people I know have been pulled between their parents like a rope in a tug-of-war match. They resent the fact that their parents did that to them and they feel less respect for parents as a result.

 

Never #5: Never say "Never" or "Always"

 

These are words that polarize, accuse and define another person. These words take an issue to the extreme. It is more productive to stay neutral in your emotions and say things like, "I don't appreciate it when....", or "I feel bad when you...." (then stating the specific behavior).

 

Never #6:  Never Resort to Name-Calling

 

 This is a sure-fire way to turn up both the heat and the hurt in an argument. Name-calling is always negative in tone, citing a weakness or a flaw in the other person and exaggerating it.

 

Never #7:  Never Get Historical

 

Remember forgiveness!  By dredging up the past, recalling past sins and then applying them to recent behavior you are only sending the signal that you are unforgiving. I am amazed in counseling sessions when a person says, "Don't you remember five years ago when you...?" The person making this statement is bitter and angry at a very deep level. This bitterness and anger are far more important to address than misbehavior, error or sin committed five years ago.

 

"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

 

___________________________________________________

 

God bless your family and your marriage.

 

Jim Stephens

        

 

 

 

 

 

 


Cartoon

Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!

Practical tips and news sent to you every day.

 

Low monthly fee of only $5. 365 articles for less than a few hours at a marriage seminar. 

 

One email could change your marriage!!!   ....priceless.

 

Subscribe now using PayPal!

 

More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Just $5 a month
A new practical tip
everyday. 
Click here
What's your favorite charity. Tell them about
They can receive $3/mon. donation for everyone they refer to Marriage Tips.
 
        
 Archives of past
Daily E-Tips

(must be a subscriber)
 

ADVERTISEMENT
 
Check out

GROUPON

Fastest growing site!
Get exciting discount
coupons for
your local area.

Recommended by
the Marriage Library

CLICK HERE 

 

Rent latest MOVIES
for $1 a night ONLINE.

REDBOX
First movie is FREE.

Did you like this article? Can you think of someone who might benefit from it. Please forward it to them using this button. Reach out and make a connection...it benefits both of you.
 
Use this button, not email forwarding because if your friend clicks the "unsubscribe" button, YOU are the one that will be unsubscribed!!! 

To place a link to
today's information
on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button at
the top of this page.

Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library
 20101010