16 NEVERS When Resolving Conflict - Part 3
By Tommy Nelson
Never #8: Never Stomp Out of the Room or Leave
This is a form of domination, a form of gaining victory that will produce nothing more but unresolved and heightened anger. "Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath." - Ephesians 4:26.
Do not leave an argument unresolved and stomp out of a room. Remember that resolution takes effort!
Never #9: Never Raise Your Voice in Anger
Proverbs 16:21 says, "Sweetness of the lips increases learning," and Proverbs 16:24 adds, "Pleasant words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." A pleasant tone is much more persuasive and brings about a much better attitude in the person who is listening.
Never #10: Never Bring Family Members into the Discussion Unless They Are a Direct Part of the Problem Being Addressed
Statements like "Your mother does this and it drives me nuts!", or "You are just like your father!", will never ever resolve a conflict. These statements are immature and tend to prolong any argument. These statements result in a spouse becoming defensive about his or her parents and is a sure fire way to hurt someone's feelings.
Never #11: Never Win Through Reasoning or Logic and Never Out-Argue
Nothing is more disrespectful than to disregard the feelings of your mate with cold logic as if to say your mate's pain and feelings are foolish and imagined. Throughout the New Testament we find verses that say we are to submit to other believers.
Is losing an argument taking a doormat position? No, it is Godly. We are to submit our personal rights to a great position of seeking unity and harmony within the body of Christ. For healthy resolution to occur, there are no winners or losers but the advancement of the relationship to a new level of understanding and agreement, with compromise by both persons.
Take note. This is not to say that we are to compromise with evil.
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God bless your family and your marriage.
Jim Stephens
