Understanding The Three Levels of Commitment
 
Marriage requires the same kind of thoughtful attention, planning and deliberate investment that we give to our physical health and financial portfolios.
 
Considering Your Level of Commitment
 
A good way to start taking inventory of your marriage, assessing its strengths and weaknesses, is to consider your level of commitment.
 
Ask yourself the following:
 
 · Has your marriage been on auto pilot for so long that neither you nor your spouse have a clue where you're headed?
 
 · Where would you like to see your marriage go this year?
 
 · Are you committed to making positive changes
 
 · Do you expect your marriage to get better by doing the same things you did last year?
 
 · How committed are you to your marriage for the long haul?
 
 · How committed is your spouse to your marriage?
 
Understanding The Three Levels of Commitment
 
Commitment is something many claim to have, yet few seem to understand. It is a concept that has been used, abused and improperly modeled for so long that we've lost sight of what genuine devotion looks like.
 
Where marriage is concerned, commitment is the decision to continue in the relationship.
 
Dr. Michael P. Johnson, Sociology Professor at Penn State University, views the decision to continue in a relationship as a function of three different experiences or levels of commitment- personal, moral and structural. These three types of commitment can be described as follows:
 
 1. Personal Commitment, a.k.a. "I Want To."If you have a high level of personal commitment to your marriage, you may find yourself saying or thinking, "I want to continue in my marriage. I take pleasure in being married. I enjoy being committed to my spouse."
 
 2. Moral Commitment, a.k.a. "I Ought To."Those with a high level of moral commitment might say, "I believe staying in my marriage is the right thing to do. I'll stick it out because of my values and beliefs. I made a commitment before God and I should keep my word."
 
  3. Structural Commitment, a.k.a. "I Have To."If you have a high level of structural commitment, the following statements may apply to you: "External constraints are keeping me in my marriage. I have to stay married. I can't afford the negative consequences of divorce on my finances, my social relationships and the way others might perceive me. Divorce would also be detrimental for my children."
 
Although one facet of commitment may sound "better" or more virtuous than another, our relationships benefit from having all three.

 

The active presence of multiple facets or layers of commitment makes one's marital resolve stronger than if only one facet were present. Consider the words of Ecclesiastes 4:12 in this light: "A threefold cord is not quickly broken" (NKJV).

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