Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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One Hundred Ways for Women to Create Oxytocin on Their Own- Part 1 
 
by Jim Stephens 
Summary of this article
 
This is more material from the John Gray book, Why Mars and Venus Collide. Oxytocin is the very important stress reducing hormone in women, whereas testosterone reduces stress in men. The following 50 activities are great for women, but they would do next to nothing for a man. 50 more will be tomorrow.
 
Jim
One Hundred Ways for Women to Create Oxytocin on Their Own
 
By Jim Stephens based on John Gray: Why Mars and Venus Collide

 
What follows is a random list of oxytocin-producing activities that can help a woman fill up her tank on her own. These are activities in which a woman treats herself well by doing things for herself that are rewarding, fulfilling, comforting, and involve connecting with others besides her partner. Oxytocin production is stimulated by tending-and-befriending behavior.
 
A man can only help a woman with about 10% of her oxytocin needs. Historically women got most of their oxytocin needs met by activities with other women during the day. Now when so many women work in a highly testosterone environment, they need to understand the types of activities which will help rebuild their oxytocin.
 
If a woman can meet 90% of her own needs, she'll be feeling very good when she sees her man. When he adds that extra 10%, she'll then be feeling really great and he'll be able to take credit for it (raising his testosterone).
 
If a woman is around 0% and depleted of oxytocin, even if the man adds 10%, it will seem insignificant to her. He'll also feel like a failure. That will have a negative effect on his testosterone levels. It's going to be a win-win or a lose-lose. 
 
 1. Get a massage.
 2. Get your hair done.
 3. Get a manicure and/or pedicure.
 4. Plan a Venus night out with your girlfriends.
 5. Talk to a friend on the phone.
 6. Have a non-business-related meal with a friend.
 7. Cook a meal with a friend and clean up together.
 8. Meditate while walking or do deep breathing while exercising.
 9. Paint a room with family or friends.
10. Listen to music.
11. Sing in the shower.
12. Take singing lessons.
13. Sing in a group.
14. Take a scented bath.
15. Light candles at dinner.
16. Shop for fun with a friend.
17. Visit a day spa or take a spa vacation with friends.
18. Give yourself a facial.
19. Work out with a personal trainer.
20. Take a yoga class.
21. Take a dancing class.
22. Walk for at least an hour.
23. Schedule a regular walk-and-talk with a friend.
24. Prepare a meal for friends with a new baby.
25. Prepare a meal for friends and family who are sick.
26. Plant roses and other fragrant flowers in the garden.
27. Buy fresh-cut flowers for your home.
28. Grow and tend a vegetable garden.
29. Go to a farmer's market.
30. Prepare a meal from your own garden or with locally grown produce.
31. Take a hike.
32. Camp out in a group.
33. Hold a baby.
34. Pet, hold, and care for a pet.
35. Take a "girlfriend getaway."
36. Ask someone to carry something.
37. Ask for help.
38. Take time to browse in a bookstore with no agenda.
39. Read a good book.
40. Collect your friends' best recipes.
41. Take a cooking class.
42. Get household help for cooking, cleaning up. shopping. and house care.
43. Hire a good handyman.
44. Plan fun family activities.
45. Make a meal a special occasion by using your best china and linens.
46. Participate in a Parent Teacher Association meeting.
47. Bake for fund-raisers.
48. Go to the theater, concerts, and dance performances.
49. Have a picnic with friends and family.
50. Plan special occasions to look forward to.
.  
 
_____________________________________________________
 
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

 

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