The number 1 characteristic of a healthy family is a serving attitude for each other and their community according to Gary Chapman.

Healthy Families are Serving Families
 
By Gary Chapman

 

We hear a lot about dysfunctional families, but what about functional families?
 
The most fundamental sign of a healthy family is an attitude of service. The husband will serve his wife. She will serve him. Together they will serve the children, and eventually the children learn to serve the parents. Then the whole family reaches out to serve others. Does that sound like your family?  If not, it all begins with a prayer:  "Father, give me the attitude of Christ toward my family."
 
God does not want us to serve out of duty, but out of a heart that has been touched by His love. You don't have to possess warm feelings for your husband in order to serve him, but you do need an intimate relationship with God. Through you, God's love flows to bless your family.   
 
Can I Help?
 
The most essential ingredient in a healthy family is learning to serve each other. Jesus said, "I did not come to be served, but to serve."  In a healthy family, that will be the attitude of the husband, the wife, and the children.
 
Young children want to serve. What mother has not heard these words, "Can I help you, Mommy?"  If the child is allowed to help, and affirmed for helping he/she will develop an attitude of service.
 
This is sustained by the model of the parents. If the child hears the father ask his wife, "How can I help you?" and hears the mother reciprocate, they will learn that "serving others is important in our family." Teach your children to serve and they are on the read to greatness.   
 
Nothing stimulates a positive family atmosphere like an attitude of service. And, if you have it, it's contagious. Your children will pick up on it, and your spouse will begin to reciprocate. Everyone takes delight in serving. Then you can export it to the church, the community, the world. Your family can impact the world for good and it all begins with an attitude of service.
 
Jesus said, "Whoever will be great among you, let him be your servant." Jesus set the example. We are his followers. Have a sharing time each evening and let family members report on ways they served others today. It will focus your family on greatness. 
 
The Mark of Greatness
 
Adults and youth alike are attracted to the young man who goes out of his way to serve others. True greatness is expressed in serving, not in dominating. No parents challenge their children to be like Hitler, while thousands challenge their children to be like Jesus. The hallmark of Jesus was service to others. Peter said, of Him, "He went about doing good."  Would you like for that to be said of your children?
 
As your children see you experience the satisfaction of serving, service will become a way of life and your children will bless the world. 
 
Service is a Virtue
 
I really believe that the single most important ingredient of a healthy family is an attitude of service. When we view service as a virtue, we build a positive family atmosphere.
 
But how do we make this a way of life? It begins by celebrating the acts of service that you're already doing. Around the table, let each family member complete this sentence to another family member. "One way in which I served you today is..." Then the family member who was served responds, "And I really appreciate that." The whole family cheers and the next person reports. 
 
When we highlight and affirm the service that is already going on, it stimulates new ideas and makes us all want to serve more.

 

Teach your children to serve and you are creating a healthy family. 
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Today's content has been written by Dr. Gary Chapman and is based on his book The Family You've Always Wanted. Published by Moody Publishers, copyright 2008.