Teaching Men How to Give Compliments To Women
 
By John Gray
 
Compliments on Mars and compliments on Venus are different because men want to be acknowledged, while women want to be adored.
 
When a woman says to a man, "that was a great restaurant you suggested," or, "you picked a terrific movie," or "that was a fantastic exhibit, great idea," it makes him feel like a million bucks. That's because there is a deep desire in a man to please the woman he adores and when she acknowledges the quality of his choices he could not be more pleased.
 
On Venus, however, there is a notable difference. Certainly any compliment is always welcomed, but the best compliments for women are far more personal and direct.

Men do not instinctively know this and often miss the opportunity to get a woman's attention by complimenting her in a more direct manner.
 
Instead of focusing on what a woman does or how she makes him feel, he should ideally focus on finding positive words that describe her directly.
 
Here are some examples of indirect compliments that men want to hear and the type of compliments that women welcome most. Notice how women like the more direct compliments.
 
Tell a man: "I am having a wonderful time." Tell a woman: "You are so wonderful."
 
Tell a man: "Wow, this is so impressive." Tell a woman: "Wow, you are so impressive."
 
Tell a man: "I really enjoy talking with you." Tell a woman: "You are so interesting."
 
A man will feel complimented if a woman loves his car, his stereo, or even his choice of a football team, but a woman feels complimented when she feels personally noticed and adored. Personal compliments are positive observations, those things that a man notices about a woman who is special to him when he is looking at her and relating to her.
 
For a woman to begin having deeper feelings for a man at any stage, in courtship or within a committed relationship, his compliments need to go beyond the indirect words that he would want to hear and into the far more personal and direct terms that resonate on Venus.
 
Women will appreciate any sincere compliment from a man that they find interesting and attractive, and when a man puts a little more thought into his words she will be that much more pleased.
 
Finally, men are often uncomfortable with direct compliments because they assume that Venusians, like Martians, are more comfortable with indirect compliments. That's just not the case, if you've been thinking that she has beautiful eyes, a wonderful smile, a great laugh, or fabulous hair, tell her that and more. It signals to a woman that you are very interested in gaining her attention, and in truth that's exactly what you are hoping to do whether you met three hours, three years, or thirty years ago.
 
A woman is never too young or too old to be adored, and a man never tires of being admired.

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Based on John Gray's recent book, "Why Mars and Venus Collide."

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