Summary of this article
Gary Chapman gives another story about how understanding the Five Love Languages can release many years of pain in a relationship. Our parents may have been trying their best to love us, but kept speaking the "wrong language".
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Did Your Mother Love You? By Gary Chapman Life's greatest happiness is found in good relationships, and life's deepest pain is found in bad relationships. If you feel loved by your mother, then the maternal relationship brings you feelings of comfort and encouragement. On the other hand, if your relationship with your father is fractured, you probably suffer feelings of abandonment. Many single adults have felt unloved by one or both parents. In my book: The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition, one of the ideas I discuss is how understanding the five love languages can help Singles establish or re-establish a more positive relationship with parents. Love holds the greatest potential for healing the past and creating a better future. Sometime ago, I was speaking at a state penitentiary on the topic of the five love languages. I took the perspective of helping them understand why they did or did not feel loved by their parents. When I called for questions or comments, one young man said, "I want to thank you for coming. For the first time in my life I realize that my mother loves me. My love language is physical touch, but my mother never hugged me. In fact, the first time I ever remember getting a hug from her was the day I left for prison. But, I realized that she spoke some of the other love languages. She really was loving me. I just didn't get it." You see, most parents honestly desire to communicate love to their children, but unless they are aware that love languages differ for different people, they tend to express love through their own love language. It wasn't that they didn't love you, but rather they didn't know how to express love in a way that made you feel loved. Through understanding the love languages, you may discover that your parents really did love you. Whether you are single or married, you might consider taking the new free Love Language Assessment for Singles to discover how you prefer to receive love from others, and in this case: a parent. You might find the results bring healing to a hurt relationship from the past, as well as give you some insight for a better future.
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God bless your marriage and family.
Jim Stephens |
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