Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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Finding Your Personal Love Language
 
By Gary Chapman 
Summary of this article
 
I recently came across Gary Chapman's new online quiz to find your Love Language so I tested it out. It was quick (maybe 10 minutes) and easy. Much better than past versions.
 
My scores changed since last time. Here they are: 
 
3   Words of Affirmation (old score 9)
9   Quality Time  (old 6)
1   Receiving Gifts  (old 0)
7   Acts of Service  (old 5)
10 Physical Touch (old 10)
 
I guess as I get older Quality Time is more valuable.
 
Jim 
Finding Your Personal Love Language
 
 
Getting Started
 
The Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference.
 
It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with those closest to you and effectively enhance the relationships in your life.
 
Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score
 
The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It's not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you.
 
The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don't affect you very much on an emotional level. 
 
Summary of the Five Love Languages
 
  * Touch--You want to give and/or receive affection physically.  This may or may not center around sex.
 
  * Words of Affirmation--You need to hear praise to know you are loved and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally.  Negative comments cut right to the bone.  You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why. 
 
  * Quality Time--This can be expressed either through those intimate tete-a-tete discussions or via doing things together.  It's possible to get a low score in this category because you have a strong preference for one form of Quality Time over another.
 
  * Acts of Service--You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others.  You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.
 
  * Gifts--You are moved by presents and physical tokens of affection.  It's the fact that someone is thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you.  The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.
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Explanation of Physical Touch for Jim from website
 
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm-they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

 
Using Your  Love Language
 
You may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, but do not dismiss those other languages as insignificant. That's because your friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will be beneficial for you to understand this about them.
 
In the same way, it will benefit your friends and loved ones to know your love language and express his affection for you in ways that you interpret as love.
 
Every time you or they speak one another's language, you score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn't a game with a scorecard!
 
The payoff of speaking each other's love language is more of a feeling of "this person understands me and cares for me." This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved relationship.
_____________________________________________
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

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