Ways She Can Ask For Romance

By John Gray

Instead of expecting a man to think of romance, a woman needs to remember that he is from Mars and tends to think in terms of projects with a clear beginning and end.

Once he has succeeded in being romantic, he thinks he is done. To make sure your partner continues to meet your romantic needs, you must not expect him always to remember on his own. It certainly feels more romantic when he does it on his own, but if he doesn't, then it is up to you to remind him.

One of the biggest obstacles to lasting romance is that women feel a variety of wants, wishes, and needs, but do not express them.

Men need to hear clear, friendly, and short requests.

In the beginning, a man does not need to hear his partner's needs and requests because his goal is for her to know that he is there for her. He is constantly thinking of ways to communicate that message.

Later in the relationship, he assumes she must be getting what she wants if she is not asking for more.

On the other hand, if she complains he is not doing enough, he does not feel like being romantic. On Mars, it is almost impossible to feel romantic when someone is complaining that you are not enough. Remember, success and not failure stimulates testosterone.

Asking for what she wants is always hard on Venus, but asking for romance can be even more difficult. It is a new skill, but it can be learned.

When she feels ignored and less important than her partner's work, it is harder for her to ask for what she wants, particularly because she is asking for romance. The only way some women know how to ask for more is to complain.

Unfortunately, this approach is counterproductive and puts a damper on the romance. Most women who do complain already sense it will not work, but they don't know what else to do. Now they can discover a way that works.

Some Ways to Ask for Romance

Remember, it is important to approach a man in a positive and appreciative way. Here are some examples of how women can ask for romance:

· "There is a new play in town. I would love it if you planned a date for us to see it. I feel like going out - just the two of us."

· "There is a concert coming up, and I got tickets. Would you put it on your calendar and take me, please?"

· "I have been invited to a party by my friend Carol. Would you take me, please? I know you don't like parties much, but it would feel so good if you were there."

· "I had a big day today, and I'd like to celebrate. Would you make reservations and take us out to dinner?"

· "I was reading about this beach near Muir Woods. Let's hang out there on Saturday. I will make a picnic. Would you drive?"

· "I got my hair cut today. I like it a lot. I know haircuts are not that important to you, but it feels really good when you notice and say something. Next time, would you say how great I look?"

· "When you see me all dressed up for the party, would you let me know that you think I look beautiful? I know you do, but it just feels good to hear you say so."

· "I bought these two little candles. I thought it would be fun to light one if I was in the mood for making love, or you could light it when you are in the mood, and I would light the other to let you know when I am ready."

· "Would you please take care of the dishes tonight? I can't do another thing, and I'd like to take a bubble bath."

· "I am planning to go to an exhibit at the Historical Society. I'd be happy to go alone, but I would love it much more if you would take me."

· "Sometimes I miss hearing you say you love me. I know you do, but it is nice to hear you say it."

· "Let's slow down. I really like this."

As you can see, each of these requests is direct, brief, and positive. She's not giving a list of complaints to justify asking for his support. The fewer words she uses, the easier it will be for him to take action and give her the support she wants.