Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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When A Man Gets Lost
 
By Karen Card 
 Issue 391
Summary of this article
 
Women can never understand what asking for directions is like for a man, so don't even try. Just accept it. Men easily accept that they don't understand many things about women (maybe all of it). Here's a good tip on that.  
 
Jim 
When A Man Gets Lost
 
By Karen Card

 
We all want to feel love; we want to give it and we want to get it. But, what happens if we don't feel it?  In order to have a healthy, loving relationship we need to recognize that our partner may have a different description of love than we do. What does love mean to you? Your partner? How should someone express his or her love to you? How do you show someone that you love him or her?
 
A lot of us mistakenly believe that everyone shows love the same way. However, people's expressions of love can vary greatly, especially with the opposite sex. As a woman, do you want a man to say, "I love you" and bring you flowers, or do you just want him to spend more time with you? As a man, do you want a woman to tell you she thinks you are wonderful, or do you just want her to have more sex with you?
 
People have different descriptions of what love means and how it should be expressed. To have a healthy relationship you need to know what your love needs are and what your partner's love needs are - they could be completely different and what's important to you could be meaningless to them.
 
Advice to Men and Women
 
Take the time to communicate to your partner what makes you feel loved: saying nice things, doing nice things, quality time, gifts, or physical touch. After you tell your partner what makes you feel loved, find out what makes your partner feel loved so you can both give and receive love. After all, we all want to feel love!
 
Why Men Won't Ask for Directions 
 
Why will he not stop and ask for directions? Because he is a man.
 
The main reason men do not like asking for directions is because they have a strong belief that they can "do it on their own." If they are lost, they will be able to find their own way out, on their own, without needing help from anyone. Whereas women are willing to ask for and receive help from anyone (even gas station clerks), men feel their intellect is being challenged if they have to ask for help. Men associate their value as a person with their ability to figure things out on their own.
 
From The Guy Rules: Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
 
Advice for Men
 
When you are with a woman and she suggests you ask for directions, do not think of it as an insult. Think of it as another way you can make her happy. You will be getting the directions just to make her happy, and not because you could not figure it out on your own.
 
Advice for Women
 
Next time you are with a man and you are lost, stay calm and try not to offer advice. Try to relax and enjoy the scenery. Give him a chance to figure it out on his own (you could even give him support with this). If that does not work, ask him if he would be willing to stop so you can go in and get the directions. Whatever you do, do not make him feel bad that you are lost.
 
Read other articles and learn more about Karen Card.
 
_____________________________________________
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

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