How Orange People Challenge Others - Part 3 of 9

By Jim Stephens based on Color Styles by Mary Miscisin

It's easy to jump to conclusions about situations and make guesses about ego battles and family dynamics. However, some circumstances are actually simple misperceptions about personality styles.

To begin to unwrap these challenges, pay attention to notice the actions and good intentions of the other person. How are you perceiving and describing their behaviors? If you really tried, how well can you come up with a positive description for each perceived negative one?

Notice which ones below are similar to the challenges you are experiencing with your friends and family.

Typical Challenges that Orange People give to others

It's hard getting Oranges to commit or follow through.

 *  Will not RSVP until the very last minute~if at all

 *  Say "yes" to several invitations, then arrive late or not show up

 *  Have a different definition of "on time". Tells time in "ish" language...for example: 5-ish

Oranges like to spring surprises on others.

 *  Tell you they are serving turkey at 2 and you end up eating franks at 5

 *  Will show up wearing a purple dress when you designated a red theme

 *  You asked them to bring bottled water and they brought beer instead

Oranges have a tendency to instigate challenging behavior.

 *  "Let's have a snowball fight, food fight or pillow fight!"

 *  "Let's see who can drink the most eggnog the fastest"

 *  "Let's make a fort out of the couch cushions!"

 *  "Who can BURP the loudest?"

Here are Suggestions on how to deal with Oranges these holidays.

Give them some wiggle room in advance of getting irritated.

 *  You have a choice- do you want to be right.. or have them around?

 *  Is a little bit of time with them better than no time at all, or even a rotten time because you are mad at them?

Be ready to go with the flow that they will initiate.

 *  Plan back-ups.

 *  Pack a snack.

 *  Create a contest for them - bet you can't find a red dress anywhere in this town, it just can't be done!

Give them the floor, but know when your own limits are reached.

 *  Plan opportunities ahead of time to keep them moving, participating and entertained (or providing approved entertainment). For example provide games, fun tasks and karaoke (with only the songs you have chosen).

 *  Know your own limits - state your boundaries clearly, calmly, and firmly. They'll keep pushing if they detect a chance they'll get their way, if they notice it is getting a rise out of you, or it's entertaining or funny to others.

Your new paradigm shift.

Past negative ways you might have characterized them:

1. Flakey          

2. Irresponsible

3. Trouble-maker

New found positive way to look at them:

1. Likes to keep options open

2. Spontaneous

3. Keeps things interesting

_______________________________________________________

God bless your family and your marriage.

Jim Stephens