How Green People Challenge Others -

Part 9 of 9

By Jim Stephens based on Color Styles by Mary Miscisin

It's easy to jump to conclusions about situations and make guesses about ego battles and family dynamics. However, some circumstances are actually simple misperceptions about personality styles.

To begin to understand these challenges, pay attention and notice the actions and good intentions of the other person. How are you perceiving and describing their behaviors? If you really tried, how well can you come up with a positive description for each perceived negative one?

Notice which challenges below are similar to the ones you are experiencing with your friends and family. Maybe there's nothing "wrong" with them, it's just their style of expression.

Typical Challenges that Green People give to others

The challenge of keeping the interest of Green Style People.

 *  Sometimes they will pick up a book and start reading it.

 *  Greens may drift off to the den to boot up the computer.

 *  Greens may watch the game on TV while everyone else visits.

How to deal with the relentless questioning and critiques of Green People.

 *  Greens will dispute your comments: You say, "Looks like it's going to be cold." They'll say, "Actually the weather channel says two degrees warmer."

 *  Greens will seem to interrogate you with questions, "Why are you doing it that way?"

 *  Greens comments and questions seem to be criticisms. "That's not the right pan to make gravy."

It's hard to read what a Green is thinking.

 *  They have a cool, calm, and collected demeanor. They don't show much enthusiasm.

 *  The facial expression or body language of Greens seems devoid of any emotion.

 *  Greens have a callous sense of humor.

Here are Suggestions on how to deal with Greens during these holidays.

Allow Greens their room to breathe and time to think.

 *  Recognize Greens are not wrong just because their interests are different from yours.

 *  If you want their company, join with them. Perhaps ask questions about the game or what they are reading or doing. Be prepared to listen. If they ignore you, don't take it personally, they may just want to be alone. Give them their space.

 *  Try to realize that social chit-chat can be exhausting to them. Therefore keep it to a limit.

Keep in mind that when they offer advice, they are just trying to share their expertise and help.

 *  Take it as a compliment that they are interested in you and what you are doing.

 *  When Greens offer tips for improvement, receive it and ask for their help.

 *  Try to get curious instead of furious at their questions or critiques.

Recognize they are most comfortable keeping their emotions on the inside.

 *  IT DOES NOT MEAN THEY DO NOT FEEL ANY EMOTIONS. THEY JUST DON'T LIKE TO DISPLAY THEM!

 *  Give them time to get to know you. And think in terms of this may be years!

 *  Appreciate their sense of humor.

Your new paradigm shift.

Past negative ways you might have characterized them before:

1. Anti-social

2. Criticizes

3. Uncaring, unemotional, and uninterested

New found positive way to look at them:

1. Introvert, private person

2. Points out ways to improve

3. Keeps emotions on the inside

_______________________________________________________

God bless your family and your marriage.

Jim Stephens