Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
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Ten Tips How to Talk to Your Honey About Money - Part 1
 

By Syble Solomon

 
Summary of this article
 
Almost everyone recognizes that every marriage will have issues over money. Syble Solomon has made it her mission in life to help couples with the money issues. Her Money Habittudes card game can be really helpful in revealing each person's approach to money.
 
Below is the first 5 of the 10 tips. Tomorrow will be 6 through 10.
 
Jim 
 
Ten Tips How to Talk to Your Honey About Money - Part 1

By Syble Solomon

The Big Day is coming up! As you prepare for your wedding, take the time to do something that will help you prepare for your future life together. It may not sound romantic, but sit down and have a good talk about money. Couples who communicate effectively about money can usually communicate about anything!

Did you know that money issues in a marriage are inevitable? Money has consistently been named the number one cause of conflict in marriages whether couples said they were happy and satisfied with their marriages or not and whether they stayed married or got divorced.
 
Since money problems are predictable, be proactive and get talking before you walk down the aisle. The more you understand each other's habits and attitudes about money, the fewer misunderstandings you will have in the future. In fact, your ability to talk about money and manage it is the best predictor of a solid marriage!

Here are ten tips to help you get started.

1. Just do it! If you are uncomfortable or suspect your honey may not want to talk about money, acknowledge that it feels awkward and you are both in new territory. Sharing information about money and understanding each other's priorities builds trust to lay a strong foundation for your future so it is worth the effort to have the conversation. To get started, find a time and place to talk where you can both relax.

2. Reminisce. An easy way to begin is to just share your memories. Remember the first time you bought something with your own money? What did you buy? How did you get the money? Here are some other ideas of stories you can share:
· Talk about your first job and the ones that followed. What did you do with your money?
· How did you get money as a child and a teen? What did you do with it?
· When you were a kid, did you think you were richer or poorer than your friends or others in your family? Who did you know that you thought was really wealthy or really poor?
· Were you expected to contribute to or pay for class trips or projects when you were in school?
What about going to a prom or on a date to the movies?

3. Think family. Growing up, how was money talked about in your home? Do you know who paid the bills and how big financial decisions were made about buying a car or house,  investing or saving for the future? If there were arguments about money, what usually caused them and how were you involved? How would you know when your parents disagreed about money? Were you encouraged to live simply and be content or was there a sense of competition to keep up or outdo others?

4. Look around. Did your immediate family seem to have a different lifestyle or values than your extended family or other people in your neighborhood or community? Did they encourage you to fit in or to get more education, have more or be different? Are you lifestyle and values now in sync with your parents, siblings and old friends or are they different?

5. Enjoy life. How have you spent your money for fun in the past? Has anything changed? What have you done for fun and pure enjoyment that doesn't cost a penny? In the future, how do you see spending money on entertainment, fun and recreational activities?

Communicating about money really means communicating about life experiences and values. It builds trust, openness and honesty-a great foundation for a long, successful marriage!
 
Tomorrow, we'll have Tips #6 through #10.
_____________________________________________________
 
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

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Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library