Bad Theology Equals Bad Marriage

By Mark Gungor

There is line of thinking that began in American culture during the hippy movement of the 1960s and has continued to grow in popularity until it proliferated even Christianity. I'm referring to the concept of "unconditional love".

Over and over we hear people talking about how we need to love others "unconditionally" and how others should love us "unconditionally". It also has morphed into the idea that God's love for us is "unconditional". What a bunch of horse manure! Nowhere in the bible does it say that love is to be without conditions...in fact, the phrase "unconditional love" isn't even in the bible. (Not to mention that the bible is clearly a list of conditions God has for his people.) Funny how Christians are so quick to make such unbiblical ideas and phrases in to pillars of the faith!

The other phrase that is repeated over and over again until it, too, has become accepted "doctrine" is "God loves you just the way you are." Wrong!! God loves you in spite of the way you are!

He loves you when you are broken and in sin. He loves you when your life is a disaster, if you've committed adultery, are lost in addictions, or cheating and lying up a storm. It's not that God doesn't love you, he does... but he expects you to change.

We need to repent, to grow, to mature as Christians. But when people mistakenly say, "God loves you just the way you are", what is either spoken or implied is the caveat that you don't have to change.

Words have meaning and by using this oft-repeated phrase, we've created a generation of Christians who do nothing to please God, simply because they don't think they have to. They think that God is there to please them. Most think, "I said the prayer. I'm covered." But they are still committing adultery, looking at porn, cheating, lying, and not going to church, or giving of their time or money. After all, they believe, "It doesn't matter what I do...God loves me unconditionally...just the way I am." It's broken theology.

This maligned concept of Christianity is the very reason why so many marriages stink. Quite simply, people are taking their bad theology into their marriages, where they think there are no requirements, no consequences, and no conditions. They expect that the same "unconditional love" that they mistakenly believe God has for them applies in their marital relationship too. The worst marriages on earth are those that one or both spouses buy into this broken thinking.