Unselfish Service Is The Key To A Strong Relationship

By The National Healthy Marriage Institute LLC

If you really want to damage your relationship and increase the pain and misery in your marriage, then be selfish. If you look at the root causes of the majority of reasons people give for divorce, you will find that one or both of the spouses were being selfish. If what you really want out of life is an unhealthy and unhappy marriage, then be selfish. We can guarantee you will find what you are looking for.

Selfishness in one degree or another is a universal part of the human experience. It is part of our nature to be selfish. When we are selfish, we are usually rewarded with pleasure. However, the pleasure is fleeting while the consequences are not.

Most of us realize selfishness tends to drive other people away. This is why we hide our selfish tendencies from our spouse when we were dating. The security of marriage makes us feel comfortable in letting our selfish tendencies loose. On the other hand, this dating experience we each go through gives us hope that each and every one of us can restrain our selfish tendencies.

No matter how strong of a relationship you have been able to develop while keeping your selfish nature under control, you will begin to poison it as soon as you exhibit selfish behaviors.

How can you learn to control your selfish tendencies so that it doesn't destroy your most treasured relationship? The antidote to selfishness is service. It's difficult to be selfish when you are serving your spouse. Service forces you to put the needs of your spouse in front of your own needs. The key to a strong marriage is the mindset of thinking of your spouse's needs before your own. When you use this key, a spirit of service will soon begin to permeate your relationship.

The spirit of service is contagious. On average, your spouse will begin to reciprocate within 3 weeks. They might first regard your service with suspicion, wondering what you want from them. However, as you are consistent in demonstrating your love through service for at least 3 weeks, then they will begin to reciprocate. As you both serve each other by eliminating selfish behaviors, then the strength of your marriage will grow stronger. You will begin experiencing the joy and happiness that accompanies service and less of the empty pleasure followed by pain and misery that accompanies selfishness.

Make a list right now of five things you will do every day to serve your spouse and then do them.