Daily Tips from The Marriage Library.com
Library pic
 
We Both Win Or We Both Lose
 
By Gary Chapman

Feb. 5, 2011                                                                                                Issue 549  
Summary of this article
 
Gary Chapman has a way of getting to the heart of the heart of a matter. Here he shares about the essence of decision making in marriage...genuinely seeking each other's opinion and valuing it.

Jim 
 

We Both Win Or We Both Lose

 

By Gary Chapman

 

The first building block in decision-making is love - the attitude which asks, "What is best for my spouse?"

 

The second, and equally important, building block is communication. Decision making is not a solo sport. It involves both the husband and the wife. We are partners. The Bible says, "Two are better than one."

 

That is certainly true in decision making. You are far more likely to make a wise decision if you have the benefit of two minds and two hearts.

 

Communication is the vehicle whereby we share our thoughts and feelings with each other. It is the simple process of talking and listening, with a view of coming to the best decision together. But communication must be a choice. Otherwise, we end up doing what we did when we were single: Doing what we want to do. That approach to decision making is devastating to a marriage.

 

Fundamentally, we must affirm that we are partners, and we want to have the benefit of our best thinking. Therefore, we will always communicate before we make a decision.

 

What is the husband's role? I believe it is his responsibility to create a climate where his wife knows that he values her as an equal partner.

 

When it comes to decision making, he wants her to exercise that partnership by sharing her thoughts and feelings regarding the decision.  He will do the same and together they will seek God's wisdom as what they should do.

 

This co-operative decision making must be taken seriously by the husband and the wife. Otherwise, they will be severely limited by their own perspective. The husband must see that he does not run over his wife and must see that she does not do the same to him.

 

Decision making is not a competitive sport where someone wins and someone loses. Decisions are a joint effort where we both win, or we both lose, depending on whether we make a wise or poor decision.

 

Thus our objective is to make the decision in such a way that we both feel affirmed. This is the sign of a healthy marriage. 

_______________________________________________________

 

God bless your family and your marriage.

 

Jim Stephens

 

Cartoon

Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!
 
Practical tips and news sent to you every day.
 
Low monthly fee of only $5. Less for a whole year than a few hours at a marriage seminar. 
 
One email could change your marriage!!!   ....priceless.
 
Subscribe now using PayPal!
 
More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Just $5 a month

A new practical tip
everyday. 


Give a gift subscription.
Pay $5 a month, but
get back a $3 referral fee.
Final cost is $2.
The Marriage Library

 

Subscribe your Church or Family Ministry or have the referral fee donated to them.

Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List iconClick here   
to visit The
    Marriage Library
   

Did you like this article? Can you think of someone who might benefit from it. Please forward it to them using this button. Reach out and make a connection...it benefits both of you.
 
Do not use your email forward button because if your friend clicks the "unsubscribe" button, YOU are the one that will be unsubscribed!!! 
        
 Archives of past
Daily E-Tips

(must be a subscriber)
 

ADVERTISEMENT
 
Check out

GROUPON

Fastest growing site!
Get exciting discount
coupons for
your local area.

Recommended by
the Marriage Library

CLICK HERE 

$20 for referrals


 

To place a link to
today's information
on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button at
the top of this page.

Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library
 20101010