Gary Chapman gives some insight into why one spouse may be clamming up. It could be that they don't know how to respond to what they are receiving.

Have A Silent Spouse?  Check For The Dogma. 
 
By Dr. Gary Chapman  

If you have a silent spouse, have you ever wondered why? 
 
One husband said, "It's because every time I share an idea, she pounces on it and tells me how wrong I am." 
 
His wife's perspective was that she simply wanted the freedom to disagree when she thought he was wrong.   
 
What she did not realize was that her way of disagreeing was striking at his self-esteem.
 
We discovered that if she would share her ideas in the form of a question rather than a global pronouncement, he was less defensive. 
 
"What do you think about this perspective?"  was very different from "I disagree with you. That's simply not true." 
 
Learning to share your ideas with less "dogma" may open the road to more meaningful conversations. 

 

Declarative statements end conversations. Questions stimulate give and take.
 
It's worth the effort.  Give it a try.
 
Written by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Based on his book, Desperate Marriages, published by Moody Publishing, copyright 2005. 

To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.5lovelanguages.com.