Building The Fire Of Romance In A Woman

By John Gray

This example illustrates the whole secret of romance. It is doing little things on a consistent basis. When you remember to empty the trash without her having to remind you, you get bonus points.

Doing little things to create romance is like building a fire. You cannot start it with the big logs. You have to start it with some paper, then add kindling, and then add the big logs.

In the beginning of a relationship, we men naturally start out with the paper and kindling. After we put the big logs in, we stop. The big logs are commitment, fidelity, and marriage.

To keep the passion alive in our relationships, we need to start out every day with paper and kindling as well. Here are a few examples of how to keep a woman's oxytocin levels high:

 ·  When you get up in the morning, give her a hug. When you leave her in the morning for work, give her a good-bye hug. When you return home, find her and give her a hug, and always give her a hug before bed. Although this hug may just seem like kindling to a man, it is as important as the big logs.

   Giving hugs is also a way a woman can raise her oxytocin levels. If he doesn't remember, then she can also initiate a hug.

 ·  Asking her about her day is a way of saying you care and that you are interested. Even if you are not particularly interested in all the extra details-no man is- but by being attentive, you let her know that you are interested in her and care about her happiness. Remember to just listen when she talks about her problems. She is not asking you to solve them.

   If her partner doesn't ask about her day, then a wise woman initiates the conversation anyway. Instead of asking questions, she should just launch into telling him about her day.

 ·  Whenever possible, offer to help. When a man literally uses his muscles, time, and energy in the presence of a woman to protect her and serve her needs, he is actively stimulating serotonin and oxytocin in her.

 ·  When you come home from work, devote at least twenty minutes three times a week to spending quality time with her.

   Try to remember some things to tell her from what goes on in your day so that she will feel more included in your day. A woman wants a man to be interested in her day, but she also wants to feel included in his.

   When he gets home, it is best for a woman to make her first interaction a positive one. If she has a complaint, it is best wait to share it later. First impressions leave the biggest impression.

 ·  Make sure to give at least one compliment a day. More is better. If she gets a haircut, make sure to compliment it. If she is wearing something new or just different, make sure to notice it and reassure her that she looks really great.

 ·  Whenever you have the chance, touch her in an affectionate and not sexual manner. This keeps the oxytocin flowing.

   She doesn't have to wait for the man's affectionate touches; she too can be affectionate, and he will appreciate and reciprocate.

When a woman doesn't get enough serotonin stimulated, she begins to feel like giving more is unfair because she doesn't get back.

When she reaches the point of not being motivated to give any more, the guy should try doing little things for her rather than complaining or asking for more. The act of giving to her will make it safe for her to give back to you. As her serotonin levels rise, she will then be happy to give more again.

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God bless your family and your marriage.

Jim Stephens