10 Ways Budgeting Saved My Marriage -

Part 2

By Tim Maurer, Forbes Contributor

Eleven years ago, my wife and I sat across the table from an experienced married couple... our mentor couple in our pre-marital class. Upon review of our personality profiles and piles of personal baggage, they felt it their duty to discourage us from further pursuing the sacred vows of matrimony. They'd never seen a hopeful couple more innately disparate, more inevitably destined for failure.

We have never forgotten, however, the well-intended admonishment of our mentor couple; indeed, we see much of life from vastly different perspectives, foremost among them our view of things financial. And apparently, we're not alone. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Over 50% of those splits cite financial disputes as the primary reason for the break-up.

100% of marriages deal with money as a daily necessity.

Here are the top 10 ways budgeting has saved, and continues to save, our marriage: (continued from yesterday)

7. It provides an opportunity for reconciliation. 

The prevalence of small errors in our budgeting, however, provides fertile ground for a destructive tendency: that we'd develop a scorecard, real or implied, and shame the more regular offender (because there normally is one in most households). So for us it's very important that a humility ground-rule is established: Any time an offending spouse submits in humility to an irreversible mistake, forgiveness and reconciliation is the only way forward.

6. It gives us reason to celebrate. 

For each mistake, there are several successes in each budget cycle. The long-term success of our marriage is often built on a series of small victories, and we should never withhold an affirmation for completing a project under budget or enjoying the security of a buffer when an emergency arises.

5. It cuts down on surprises. 

So many aspects of our life are subject to variability and volatility. We can't necessarily reduce the number of those surprises, but we can certainly reduce their negative impact by being financial prepared for them.  Financial strain, and especially shock, pushes many marriages to (and over) the brink.

4. It makes us better parents. 

All of us parents could probably agree that it's possible to spend too little OR too much on our children, right?  We're responsible to determine what the right levels of spending are for our children, and budgeting allows us to deliberately set aside appropriate levels of funding for education, clothing, sports, music and fun.