Stop Jumping To Conclusions

By Dr. Gary Chapman

In several articles I've talked about strategies for handling anger in a marriage.

I've noted that anger is actually normal and also that we need to admit our anger to each other. We've also seen that verbal or physical explosions are harmful. 

Today, I want to encourage you to do this: seek an explanation before passing judgment.

If you are angry with your spouse, your first impression is that his/her behavior is wrong.

But you should always remember to take this as tentative until you hear their side. 

We often misinterpret the words and actions of our spouses.

For instance, he fails to bring the milk home even after he wrote himself a note. She interprets this as irresponsibility and she is angry. But it may be something else: the store was out of milk, or he knew she didn't need the milk for dinner and plans to get it when he picks up Johnny from the ball game. 

If she is committed to seeking an explanation, then she will hold her judgment of irresponsibility until she hears his perspective.

When we "jump to conclusions," we often jump to the wrong conclusion.

So, why not make a determination to ask questions BEFORE you make judgments so there will be better understanding. 

The couple who agrees to this strategy will avoid many verbal battles.

Article written by Dr. Gary Chapman. Based on the book, Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way by Dr. Gary Chapman. Published by Moody Publishing.

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God bless your family and your marriage.

Jim Stephens