Daily Tips from The Marriage Library
Library pic
 
How Full Is Your Love Tank, From 0 to 10?
 
by Dr. Gary Chapman
 
Summary of this article
 
Gary Chapman again in this article counsels people to focus on giving love and not on getting love. When others have received enough, they will start giving too.
 
Jim 
How Full Is Your Love Tank, From 0 to 10?
 
By Gary Chapman 
 
Love is the most important word in the English language.
 
Psychologists have concluded and most of us agree that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.
 
I like to picture that inside all of us is an emotional love tank.  If the tank is full, we fare well.  But if the tank is empty, life becomes dark.  

So, I'm asking you, "On a scale of 0-10 how full is your love tank?" 
 
Better yet, why don't you ask that question to your spouse?  If their answer is less than 10, you ask: "What could I do to help fill it?" 
 
Then, you do it to the best of your ability.  If you do this exercise once a week, your spouse will likely begin to ask you the same question and you will learn how to keep each others' love tank full.  
 
It is very essential that our teenagers feel loved by their parents. I remember Ashley who at 13 years of age was being treated for a sexually transmitted disease.  She said, "I thought my father left because he didn't love me. When my mother remarried, I felt she had someone to love her, but I still had no one to love me. I met this boy at school. He was older than me, but he liked me. I couldn't believe it. He was kind to me, and I really felt loved by him. I didn't want to have sex, but I wanted to be loved."  
 
Do you know your teens love language?  I wrote my book: The Five Love Languages of Teenagers to help parents love teens effectively.  Does your teen feel loved?  
 
If love is so important why is it so elusive? Through 30 years of counseling I have heard it over and over again. "Our love is gone, our relationship is dead. We used to feel close, but not now. We no longer enjoy being with each other. We don't meet each others needs."  
 
Could it be that deep inside these hurting couples there is an emotional love tank that is empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank?  I think the answer is 'Yes'. If you would like to change the emotional climate, then look for something positive in your spouse and give them a compliment. Your positive statement is the first step toward a growing marriage.
 
I'm convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level in your car. Running your marriage on an empty love tank may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil. How do you fill the love tank of your spouse? You find out what makes them feel loved and then to the best of your ability, you speak their "love language".
 
There are five languages: (1) words of affirmation, (2) gifts, (3) acts of service, (4) quality time, and (5) physical touch. One of these speaks more deeply to your spouse than the other four. Learn to speak the right love language and watch your spouse begin to smile. When they feel loved, they are likely to reciprocate.   
 
The need to feel loved by one's spouse is at the heart of marital desires. A man said to me recently, "What good is the house, the cars, the place at the beach, or any of the rest of it, if your wife doesn't love you?" Do you understand what he was saying? "More than anything, I want to be loved by my wife." Material things are no replacement for emotional love.  
 
However, most of us focus on "getting love" not on "giving love".  But Jesus said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.  Why not ask your spouse:  "What could I do or say that would make me a better husband or wife?"  Their answer will tell you how to love them most effectively.  When you love them and they are more likely to love you.  
 
Adapted from The 5 Love Languages™ The Secret to Love that Lasts by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.5lovelanguages.com
 
 
 
God bless your marriage and family.
 
Jim Stephens
 

Cartoon

 
Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!
 
Practical tips and news sent to you every day.
 
Low monthly fee of only $5. 
 
One email could change your marriage!!!
 
Subscribe now using PayPal!
 
More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Subscribe
TODAY!
 
Just $5 a month
 
A new practical tip
everyday. 
 
 

Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List iconClick here   
for 2 Week    
Free Trial of
Daily Marriage Tips

 

Book

 
 

Refer this
Daily Email Tip
to others and receive a
$3 bonus each month
for each new subscriber.

 
Forward this email to a Friend 
 

        
 
 
 
Jim Hiromi
 
Got Questions?
Send me an email.
----------------------------------- 
To place a link to today's information on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button below when you have your webpage open.
 
Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library