Five Reasons Marriages Get Into Trouble (continued)  
 
By Dr. Kevin Leman  
 
Reason #3:  No Time Together
 
Another reason why many marriages are in trouble is that couples don't spend time together.
 
I do not think that husbands and wives should spend all of their time together. There's no reason to suffocate your partner by demanding that he or she spend every available moment with you.
 
But if your spouse is your life's top priority, then you are going to spend most of your free time with him or her.
 
Someone says, "Oh, but you don't understand. My schedule is so busy - I've got something going almost every night of the week. My wife will just have to understand that that's the way it is."
 
Let me say it again: If your spouse is your life's top priority - and certainly that's the way it ought to be - then you are going to spend most of your free time with him or her.
 
After all, the way you spend your time shows what your priorities really are. And if your busy schedule doesn't allow you to have time to spend with your spouse, then it's time to rearrange that schedule.
 
Reason #4:  Low Self-Esteem
 
You are probably as tired as I am of the endless self-esteem books on the market. It's getting so that you feel abnormal if you don't have poor self-esteem, but then I guess you can feel bad about being abnormal.
 
But don't let the self-esteem craze blind you to the simple truth of the matter: Healthy people have a healthy view of themselves. They're not the "king of the world" nor are they the "scum of the earth." They're gifted and growing, fallible but forgiven, humble but hopeful.  
 
This healthy view of yourself is especially important in marriage, because it's raised to the power of two. You can help each other maintain a good balance in your self-understanding, or you can throw each other dangerously off balance.
 
If your mate suffers from low self-esteem, the answer is to face the problem head-on and get him to deal with it. He may need to read a book or two on the subject. He may need professional counseling. But most of all, he needs a mate who will force him to face up to his problems in this area - someone who will expect him to stand on his feet and be an equal in the marriage relationship.

Reason #5:  Lack of Basic Spiritual Values
 
I know a guy who has worked in a factory for nearly twenty-five years. Every night he comes home from work, flops down in his easy chair and watches TV, migrates to his computer room to play some computer solitaire, and lets the world roll by.
 
He may think his life is just grand, but I think it's a distressing way to live - without passion, without interest in anything that's of lasting value. There are things in life that are worth believing in and worth fighting for.
 
It's not my intention to preach to you, or to tell you what to believe, but my personal feeling - which is backed by my years of experience as a psychologist - is that marriages that take into account the spiritual side of life are much better than those that don't.
 
These are marriages in which the husband and wife both understand that there are eternal values and strive to live their lives in accordance with those values.
 
There is a deeper meaning and purpose to life. These deeper things need to be a part of your marriage if it is going to be all that it can and should be.
__________________________________

 

Yesterday was the first 2 reasons.

 

Content taken directly from Sex Begins in the Kitchen, written by Dr. Kevin Leman, published by Revell Publishing..