22 Minutes To A Better Marriage

By Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International
 
Are you finding it difficult to spend time together as a married couple?

You probably spent a lot of time together before the wedding thinking that after you married, you would have even more time to enjoy being with each other. We sure fell for that one! But the sad thing that happens in most marriages is that the opposite becomes true. Life happens.

Somewhere between "We are gathered here today" and "till death do us part" there is a lot of real life going on-ups and downs, highlights and failures, dreams attained and dreams lost. Real-life marriage is hard, a balancing act of jobs, children, friends, in-laws, paying bills, cooking meals and maintaining a home. Not only these, but we also deal with transitions to different stages of marriage-adjusting as newlyweds, working dual careers, having kids, kids growing up, moving, changing jobs, and growing older.

Often the one we're supposed to love most is lost in the confusion of life. You need to put activities into your life together to help you to enjoy and encourage each other as husband and wife as well as to foster talking, learning and growing together.

 
A marriage requires a commitment of time, energy, and resources just to survive, let alone thrive and grow. No one would expect a garden to grow without a gardener giving it the proper care. But many people expect their marriage to grow and thrive without putting in time, energy, and money.

Don't be foolish. Every single day you need to do some things that will strengthen your marriage.

You might be saying, "Yes, but the problem is that we don't have the time."

Can you make the effort to somehow carve out 22 minutes to spend intentional, quality time together?

The following is something you might consider trying out in your marriage to improve your communication with each other.

A number of years ago McCall's Magazine conducted an experiment with couples who were happily married, but they needed a boost in their relationship. It was what they called a "Relationship Makeover." The experiment was a great success!

In this experiment, the couples agreed to take the time they might have spent watching one television sitcom a day (which comes out to 22 minutes without commercials) and talk.

During this time:

· They were to make eye contact and converse.

· There were to be no children in the room (it's best to wait until they're in bed).

· There was to be no radio in the background, and of course, no television!

· There was to be no dinner and no dinner dishes.

· They were told to turn on the answering machine and not answer the phone.

· They were to focus on what's positive in their lives.

· This wasn't to be a time to bring up past hurts.

· They were to do this for one month.

The couples admitted that it was a more rewarding time than they'd ever have dreamed possible!

They said that at first it was a bit awkward and they found themselves looking at the clock a lot, but after a while they were able to enjoy their time together like when they were dating.

It's worth the time invested to see how this can build your own relationship! We challenge you to try it for a month!

If you're truly stumped about to what to talk about there are a few suggestions on our website: http://www.marriagemissions.com/category/communication-tools/