You Make No Sense - Part 4
 
By Dr. Dave Currie, with Glen Hoos
 
Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are working against each other? Men, do you struggle with talking with your wife to the point that you feel she's speaking a foreign language? Women, do you need a crowbar to get your husband to open up and really talk...about anything?
 
If you are still missing the mark in communicating with your mate, here is suggestion number 4. 
 
Resolve Miscommunications at Your Best Times 
 
This one seems basic, but it's so critical. Fights get worse when you are tired or in a bad mood. 
 
I have to tell you, some of the worst fights in my marriage were late at night. It's now 1am, 2am, and it went from a level two fight to a level five or six fight just because of the time of day it was.
 
We're bushed and we know we have to get up early. There may even be certain times of the month that are bad times for resolving disagreements. 
 
We will reach resolution more quickly if we do it at our best times.

 

Schedule a time to work through your issues - a time that is good for both of you.

 

Miscommunication gets resolved so much more quickly and peacefully when we are well-rested and prepared to work at it together.

 

Don't shoot yourself in the foot by adding bad timing to your list of frustrations. 
 
Learning to communicate with your spouse is a process. Yes, sometimes it feels like we are speaking different languages. But over time, and with enough effort, we can learn to understand one another: maybe not perfectly, maybe not 100% of the time, but at least enough to get that couch through the door!  (reference the example in Part 1)
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Dr. Dave Currie is the National Director of FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Donalyn live in Abbotsford, BC and are regular speakers at FamilyLife Marriage Conferences. Dave is also the host of Marriage Uncensored with Dave and Christie, a television program airing on the CanWest Global Network in Canada and PBS in the United States.
 

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