How Much Are You Getting?
 
By Dr. Gary Chapman
 
The secret to keeping a marriage alive is not in "getting love" - it's actually in "giving love." 
 
Almost every popular magazine has at least one article on keeping love alive. So, why is it so few couples seem to have found the secret? 
 
I'm convinced it's because we concentrate on "getting love" rather than "giving love".
 
As long as you focus on what your spouse should be doing for you, you will come across as condemning, and critical, trying to control them, or trying to change them. How does it feel to be around a person that's focusing on how you make them feel or what you are doing for them?  
 
How about a different approach? Try asking, "What can I do to help you? How can I make your life easier? How could I be a better wife or husband?"  
 
Listen to the answers to these questions and you will learn how to keep your marriage alive and vibrant.
 
The pain I experienced in the early years of my own marriage led me to re-examine the life and teachings of Jesus. Having had 27 hours of academic studies in the Greek language, I decided to explore the teachings of Jesus in the original Greek. What I discovered could have been discovered in a simple reading of the English text.  
 
His life and teachings focused on sacrificial service to others. He once said, "I did not come to be ministered to, but to minister." 

It is a theme that all truly great men and women of the past have affirmed. Life's greatest meaning is not found in getting, but in giving. 
This profound principle made a significant difference in my marriage within months. Developing an attitude of service is not easy but the rewards are overwhelmingly positive. 
 
Few people will run away from someone who is serving them.

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