Daily Tips from The Marriage Library.com
Library pic
 
Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married - Part 2

 
By Gary Chapman

July 28, 2011                                                                                                Issue 722    

 

Summary of this article

 

Here is the second half of a very good generalized list of points to think about and discuss with your fiance if you are engaged. It wouldn't hurt for those already married to take some notes as well.

 

God bless your family and your marriage.

 

Jim   

Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married - Part 2

 

By Gary Chapman

 

The book, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, is my attempt to help couples get ready for marriage. I looked back on my own life and asked, "What do I know now that I wish I had known then?" I think if someone had told me these things, my marriage would have been much easier. I hope you'll learn from my mistakes.

 

What I Know

 

One evening about six weeks after our wedding, Karolyn and I were engaged in a full-fledged argument. In the midst of the argument, she went to a closet, got her raincoat, slammed the front door and walked out into the pouring rain. My first thought was, "Why doesn't she stay and fight like a man?" My second thought was, "What have I done?"

 

I wish I'd known how to listen, how to respect her ideas and feelings, how to treat her with love, instead of demanding that she agree with me. There is so much I've learned in our 40 plus years of marriage.

 

Talk About Marriage Roles

 

About six weeks after we got married, I said to Karolyn, "Honey, the toilet is getting dirty." To which she responded, "I know, I was wondering when you're going to clean it." "Me, I don't know how to clean toilets." "I can teach you," she said.

 

Have you thought about who will do what after you are married? Who will buy the groceries? Cook the meals? Mop the floors? Vacuum the carpets? Wash the dishes? Mow the grass? And walk the dog? Deciding these matters before you get married will save you a lot of frustration after the wedding.

 

Talk About Money

 

Are you thinking about getting married? Do you have a plan for handling your money? Do you know how much debt your 'spouse to be' has accumulated? Do you know how much they have in savings. Once you get married, how much of your regular income do you plan to save? How much do you plan to give away? Who will balance the checkbook each month?

 

These are the kind of questions that should be answered before you get married. Money is a huge area of conflict among married couples. Much of this could be avoided if we talk honestly about how we will handle money after we get married.

 

Talk About Sex

 

I wish I'd known, before we got married, that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic.

 

I had the idea, "I'm fully male. She is fully female. We have a high level of sexual attraction for each other. What more could we need?" Answer? A lot more! You would think that with all the explicit sex talk we find on TV and radio that sex would not be a problem in marriage.

 

In reality, sex becomes a battlefield for many couples. Information and communication are the keys to finding mutual sexual satisfaction in marriage. Sex was God's idea. You will not find the answer in Hollywood movies, or TV sitcoms.

 

Talk About Faith

 

When couples contemplate marriage, religion needs to be near the top of the list of matters that need to be discussed. Mankind is incurably religious. There are no cultures that have not developed a system of beliefs about the non-material world. These religious beliefs greatly influence the behavior of those who believe them.

 

Therefore, if you are thinking about getting married, I urge you to discuss your beliefs about spiritual matters. The Scriptures ask, "Can two walk together if they do not agree?" The answer is; "not very well."


Cartoon  

Subscribe to these Daily E-Tips today!

Practical tips and news sent to you every day.

 

Low monthly fee of only $5. That's 365 articles for less than the cost of a marriage seminar. 

 

Read one or read them all. Just one piece of information could change your marriage!!!   ....priceless.

 

Subscribe now using PayPal!

 

More info...

Get paid $3/month for everyone you refer who subscribes.

Subscribe Now
Just $5 a month
A new practical tip
everyday. 
Click here
What's your favorite charity. Tell them about
They can receive $3/mon. donation for everyone they refer to Marriage Tips.
 
        
 Archives of past
Daily E-Tips

(must be a subscriber)
 
Did you like this article? Can you think of someone who might benefit from it. Please forward it to them using this button. Reach out and make a connection...it benefits both of you.
 
Please use this button, not the "forward" button because if your friend clicks the "unsubscribe" button, YOU are the one that will be unsubscribed!!! 

To place a link to
today's information
on your Facebook or Twitter, click the "SHARE" button at
the top of this page.

Jim Stephens
The Marriage Library
 20112011