Six Scientific Tips for a Successful Marriage - Part 2
By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Managing Editor
While scientists have yet to concoct a love potion, their research is providing some helpful tips for a successful marriage.
(continued from yesterday)
4. Say "Thank you" and "We"
Two words that can go a long way: "Thank you." In 2007, researchers from Arizona State University asked married partners and student roommates whether they appreciated the chores done by the other person. While most said they felt gratitude, many hadn't relayed these feelings to their partners, assuming "he or she just knows."
Results also showed individuals who felt appreciated by their partners had less resentment over any imbalance in labor and more satisfaction with their relationships than other study participants did.
Another simple word that can boost partner pleasure: "we." A study published in the September 2009 issue of the journal Psychology and Aging found that spouses who used couple-focused words such as "we," "our" and "us" when talking about a conflict also showed more affection, fewer negative behaviors such as anger, and lower physiological stress levels during the disagreement.
Using words that expressed separateness, such as "I," "you," and "me," during the discussion was associated with marital dissatisfaction.
5. Have A Lot Of Sex
You've likely met a neurotic in your lifetime, the person who gets upset easily, often has mood changes and worries constantly (think Woody Allen). Turns out, that personality trait doesn't mix well in relationships and is more strongly tied to negative marital outcomes than any other personality type, according to Michelle Russell and James McNulty of the University of Tennessee.
The pair found that frequent sex could be the answer. Neurotic newlyweds who had lots of sex were just as satisfied with their marriages as their less neurotic counterparts were, according to the study published in the October 2010 issue of the quarterly journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Even if the sex isn't good now, keep it up: Another study found it may get better with age. Men in their 50s are more satisfied with their sex lives than men in their 30s and 40s, according to a survey published in the February 2006 issue of the journal BJU International. The men in their 50s recorded similar levels of satisfaction as 20- to 29-year-olds,
6. Marry A Similar Spender
Tightwads are likely to tie the knot with individuals who throw caution to the wind when spending money ... often to the detriment of the marriage.
Scott Rick of the University of Michigan's Ross School of Business and his colleagues analyzed surveys of more than 1,000 married and unmarried adults and found that people tend to choose their spending opposites as romantic partners. The study also showed, however, that the financial opposites had greater conflicts over money and lower marital satisfaction in the long run than those whose spending tendencies were similar.
"Even though a spendthrift will have greater debt when married to another spendthrift than when married to a tightwad, the spendthrift is still less likely to argue about money with the other spendthrift," Rick said.
