The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce - Part 1
A 25 Year Landmark Study
 
by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee
 
www.AmericanValues.org
 
Young Americans who grew up in divorced or remarried families have run into an unexpected set of difficulties in adulthood as they form their own intimate relationships, start families or remain childless - and, in too many cases, struggle through their own divorces - according to Judith Wallerstein, author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study.
 
Thirty years ago, when the divorce rate started rising to epidemic proportions in America, parents everywhere asked an agonizing question: What will happen to our children in the long run? With the release of the findings of Dr. Judith Wallerstein's unprecedented 25 year study, the answers are now in.
 
THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF DIVORCE will be essential reading for all adult children of divorce who want to know why they feel and act they way they do; for people who are living with or married to a child of divorce; for divorced parents or those considering divorce; and for judges, attorneys, mental health professionals, and all of the experts who advise parents. 
 
Its publication is a groundbreaking cultural and scientific event that will change forever the way we look at divorce.
 
Dr. Wallerstein now reveals the results of the first and only study of the effects of divorce that closely followed 93 children of divorce over a quarter century. Comparing these young women and men with a similar group from intact families, she made a startling finding: the effects of divorce are cumulative and crescendo in adulthood. 
 
In fact, the greatest impact of divorce does not occur until people are in their twenties and thirties. At a time when one in four adults is a child of divorce, Dr. Wallerstein's study represents an enormously powerful phenomenon that is revolutionizing our concept of the family and reshaping our society.
 
Contrary to the beliefs of some observers, Dr. Wallerstein found that the children of divorce are not a cynical generation. They value love, marriage, and parenthood highly, although they are wary of commitment and fearful of betrayal.

 

While recognizing that divorce is sometimes necessary and even preferable to remaining in a highly dysfunctional relationship, Dr. Wallerstein wants adults considering divorce to understand the full consequences of a marital breakup for their children, and tells what they can do to reduce their children's burden. In addition, she suggests specific changes in our legal, mental health, and child welfare systems that would help ease the effects of divorce on children.
 
``The delayed impact of divorce in adulthood is a revolutionary finding and a stunning surprise," according to Dr. Wallerstein, who has written her new book with Sandra Blakeslee, an award-winning science correspondent for The New York Times, and Julia M. Lewis, a professor of psychology at San Francisco State University.

 

``We thought that children would be able to work through issues related to divorce by the time they reached late adolescence or left home. We advised parents that if they refrained from fighting and arranged their schedules so that the children could see both of them often, then the children would do well. But these policies were based on adult needs and perceptions of divorce. We failed to realize that living in a post-divorce family is an entirely different experience for children as opposed to adults. The story of divorce is far more complex and the impact more far-reaching than we had ever imagined."
 
Moreover, Dr. Wallerstein discovered that growing up in a divorced family creates a consistent pattern of behaviors and expectations in young people when they set out to form their own adult relationships.

 

Otherwise well-functioning adult children of divorce, now in their late twenties to early forties, must fight to overcome:
 
  * Expectations of failure, based on an ``internalized image of failure;"

 

  * Fear of loneliness, sometimes leading to self-destructive choices in partners. 
 
Part 2 of this article will be tomorrow.
 

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