Why Many Children Do Not Feel Loved
 
by Dr. Gary Chapman
 
Most parents love their children, but many children do not feel loved.

 

When children don't feel loved, they do poorly in school, they don't respond well to discipline, and they are filled with anger. 
 
I believe that inside every child is an emotional love tank. When the tank is full (the child feels loved by their parent(s)) the child grows up emotionally healthy. 
 
But when the love tank is empty, the child will grow up with many internal struggles.  
 
Loving children effectively requires parents to express love in a language that the child understands. In my research I discovered the following five basic love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.
 
Every child has a special way of receiving love. When Dr. Ross Campbell and I wrote the book, The Five Love Languages of Children, we discovered that children too understand love in the five basic ways.   
 
If you have several children, chances are they each understand love in a different way.  
 
Often parents think that the ideal is to treat each child in the same way. They think of this as equality. However, a hug means more to some children than to others. So if each child gets a hug, some actually receive more effects of love than others.

 

Quality time for an ice cream cone or a walk in the park can mean a lot to one child but relatively little to another. A gift that you bring home can make one child really feel loved, but another hardly notices. 
 
Discovering the primary love language of each child is the key to effectively communicating love.
 
Do you know how each of your children receives love the best? 
 

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