Rule #4: The Rule of Time
 
By Willard F. Harley
 
Take Time to Give Your Spouse Your Undivided Attention
 
The Rule of Time unlocks the door to the other three rules. Without time you will not be able to meet each other's emotional needs nor will you be able to avoid being the cause of each other's unhappiness. 
 
Time is also a basic requirement for honesty. Time for undivided attention is the necessary ingredient for everything that's important in marriage. 
 
And yet, as soon as most couples marry, and especially when children arrive, couples usually replace their time together with activities of lesser importance.
 
You probably did the same thing. You tried to meet each other's needs with time "left over," but sadly, there wasn't much time left over.
 
Your lack of private time together may have become a great cause of unhappiness, and yet you felt incapable of preventing it.
 
You may have also found yourself bottling up your honest expression of feelings because there was just no appropriate time to talk. 
 
Schedule your time to be alone with each other as your highest priority -- that way it will never be replaced by activities of lesser value.
 
Your career, your time with your children, maintenance of your home, and a host of other demands will all compete for your time together, but they are of lesser value.
 
If you follow the Rule of Time, you will not let anything steal from those precious and crucial hours together. 
 
3 Suggestions: 
 
 *  Spend time away from children and friends whenever you give each other your undivided attention.
 
 *  Use the time to meet the emotional needs of affection, conversation, recreational companionship, and sexual fulfillment.
 
 *  Schedule at least fifteen hours together each week.
 
When you were dating, you gave each other this kind of attention and you fell in love. When people have affairs, they also give each other this kind of attention to keep their love for each other alive. Why should courtship and affairs be the only times love is created? Why can't it happen in marriage as well? It can.
 
Set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention. 
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