Assorted Quotations
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
It was all so different before everything changed.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
"A man is never so weak as when a woman is telling him how strong he is." (Unknown)
"I have noted that persons with bad judgment are most insistent that we do what they think best." (Lionel Abel)
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else. Lyndon B. Johnson
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. Friedrich Nietzsche
My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life. Lee Iacocca
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
A day without sunshine is like night.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
(And my personal favorite. Jim) Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
