Men Need Thirty Times More Testosterone Than Women

By John Gray

A man's need for space to be alone, and a woman's need for more time to be together, are rooted in our biological makeup.

In my previous books, I labeled a man's need to be alone after returning from work "cave time." A man needs his cave time to replenish his testosterone levels, which are low at the end of the day.

Just as women need more time to talk, share, and cooperate with a man, a man needs more time to recover from his stresses by having plenty of space to do things on his own, or at least to be in control of what he does.

When a woman complains about a man's cave time or his need for space, she doesn't recognize that his retreat is an important testosterone producer.

It is hard for a woman to imagine her partner's need, because a man's need to rebuild testosterone levels is so much greater than hers. As we have already discussed, men need thirty times more testosterone to cope effectively with stress.

Male behavior is alien to her.

Ultimately, most women are looking to lessen stress by connecting with their partners, not pulling away.

Yet women can also use alone time to take a breath and finally be free from the daily pressures of doing everything. While taking a break, she should do things to nurture herself, which will elevate her oxytocin levels and enable her to relax.

But this is not always easy to do. For some women, just the thought of taking time can be overwhelming. They imagine what would happen around them if they were to stop and smell the roses.

Some women, often in testosterone-stimulating jobs like banking, investing, law, or executive positions, feel the need for cave time, just like men. They are running on testosterone during business hours and need to nurture themselves to rebuild both their testosterone and oxytocin levels. They need cave time, but unlike men, they also need time to connect.