A Woman's Mind Is Like Multiple Open Windows
Interview By Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn
Question: One of the things that was so enlightening in For Men Only was how a woman's mind is like multiple open windows. Talk about that a little more.
Shaunti: Guys are like a computer desktop where you only have one window open at once and you work on one thing. You click the x, close it, and you move on to the next thing. Women can have seven, eight, 10, 20 windows open all at once, and we're bouncing back and forth. Frankly, if there's one that keeps popping to the forefront, even if we don't want it there, we can't just close out that thought. If something concerns us, it is so difficult to get rid of it. It keeps popping back up.
Jeff: I remember several months ago, we were on a trip up to see Shaunti's parents. We had stopped overnight at a hotel while on the road, and Shaunti got an e-mail that was somewhat disconcerting.
Normally, I would just say, "Don't think about it. Let's just go." But I remember saying, "You need to call that person."
Shaunti: Instead of telling me to futilely click the x shut when it wouldn't shut - and it would have kept bothering me for the next eight hours of driving - Jeff's words gave me the release to call and resolve it.
Question: What if she seems to be hung on something and things are too crazy in your own life to help her close that window? Can a guy say something like, "I'm really busy at work right now, I'm really worn out. But I will get to it on this date"?
Shaunti: Yes, that will allow her to close the window. For example, in my closet I had a shelf that I had put a few too many clothes on, and it had pulled away from the wall. Jeff was busy at work. I kept saying this is driving me crazy. All he had to do was say I'm real busy this date and this date, but I promise I will get to it by next Monday.
That's all it took for me to relax about it.
Jeff: And that's what I did after 18 months.
Shaunti: But that's another good thing that anytime a guy feels like she won't let go of something or that she's nagging him, it's a really good sign that there's a serious open window there.
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God bless your family and your marriage.
Jim Stephens
